why do we not trust kindness

Coming from a horribly abusive marriage it is really hard now that I am dating to accept kindness from others. I can certainly give kindness without a problem but accepting is seems to be a whole other issue. The whole dating scene was hard enough, then throw in someone you meet that you like and who obviously likes you and now wants to do things for you.My first thought was okay what do you want? The second thought was why are you doing this? I couldn't imagine someone would want to do this for me, hell my ex didn't and he was married to me so what's the catch?The catch  and the lesson is nothing but another wanting to make you smile,  imagine my surprise!Its been hard for me to get this, last week I was so sick and during my 24 years of marriage no matter how sick I was my ex wouldn't take the kids to school for me, I'd be half dead 104 fever and I'd be dragging my butt out of bed to do it.Last week the guy I've been dating and have known for the last 30 years flew in because he knew I had had a bad week and that I was getting sick. Well that alone made me flip out, who does that? Then as I got sicker he cooked my daughter breakfast and took her to school, when I awoke  my house was cleaned and he even went grocery shopping, now I am in full suspect mode, what do you want ? Why are you doing this? come on really?He asked why couldn't someone do something for me without a motive?I was sick, he came to help, wouldn't I do that for a friend? Of course I would I answered.Would I have a motive? He asked.No I would do it because I cared for them I said, so why do I question it then?he said.I was so used to being treated bad that is what I expected?  that any act of kindness puts me on the defense,  how sad is that? How many of us are doing that? maybe it also has to do what now that we are free we don't want to ever have to depend on a man again, we got this!But to start a relationship you need to put yourself out there, you need to trust, you need to believe that its okay to be loved and taken care of, otherwise you just might miss out on the best thing that could happen to you.So I am learning to accept kindness with looking for a motive, I am opening up my heart and allowing someone in.Am I afraid oh hell ya! But how will I ever know if I don't change and the one thing I've learned this last year is change can be unbelievable!So today my advice is let someone do something nice for you and just accept it for what it is.. a act of kindness that your not use to.