When fear runs your life

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When fear rules your life

I remember back in the day when fear ruled my life. I was afraid of what people would say or think about me. I was afraid of gossip and had to live a certain way. When I got married I was afraid of going back home when I already knew he wasn't the man for me, fear and ego stopped me.

Then I was afraid of him taking my girls away, I was afraid of what he thought about me, of what would people would think if they knew how horrible he treated me. I was afraid of trying to make it on my own, how could I make it without him? Fear ruled my life and made me stuck in a hopeless spot.

I was afraid I wasn't smart enough, good enough, strong enough, I was afraid of change and so I stayed in a miserable life I couldn't stand because I let fear ruled my life.

But here's the thing, when your sick and tired of being sick and tired, when enough is enough, when it doesn't matter what happens because you cannot take it for one more second, you smack fear in the face and you leap into the unknown not worrying about what will happen.

The day I laid on the floor and prayed for help because I couldn't do this one more day, the day I gave it over to God, the day I let go of fear was the day my life changed forever.

Yes, there has been so many changes in the last year more changes than in the last 25 years and yes, it is still scary.
But I have to tell you I am living my most authentic life, I am truly happy with myself and my life now.

I no longer worry about what others think, I only worry about what God thinks. I do my very best to try to be a good person and that is enough. I walked out of a marriage with no job, I started a new business from scratch, a business I knew nothing about, I rented an apartment with a rent as high as my old mortgage.

I hadn't paid bills in years, took care of myself in years, was it scary? Hell yeah it was scary, yet I didn't fear rule my life, I learned to get past it.

Recently I changed jobs (I work 3 jobs) I bought a new home and I quit a good paying one because I was so unhappy there and needed to be in an environment where I could be appreciated and be my authentic self. Talk about scary, more bills than money, remodeling a new home, single mom and then ex stops paying you child support, yeah big time scary but again I wasn't going to let fear rule my life. I have sick faith and God has gotten me through it all.

So today my friends, my advice to you is to take that leap of faith, do not let fear rule your life, stop listening to that voice inside your head, it wants to keep you in that spot. Break free and believe in yourself, it will be okay, I am living proof of what you can do when your fearless.

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