The effects of verbal abuse

Tgif Treadmill Treats

The effects of verbal abuse

Octoberis National Domestic Violence month and it is a subject near and dear to my heart.
So again today I wan7t to present you with some facts about the effects of this devastating crime to another human being can be.

This is not just me telling you, this is actual facts and reports from top researchers on what domestic violence and verbal abuse can and will do to people, let me tell you it's really scary.

According to the CDC they
released a study in 2008  that surveyed more than  70,000 Americans and the results were staggering. These are the results of  that survey. 

· 23.6% of women and 11.5% of men reported at least one lifetime episode of intimate-partner violence.

· In households with  incomes under $15,000  per year, 35.5% of women and 20.7% of men suffered violence from an intimate  partner.

· 43% of women and 26%  of men in multiracial non-Hispanic households  suffered partner violence.

· 39% of women and 18.6% of men in American IndianAlaska Native households  suffered partner violence.

· 26.8% of women and  15.5% of men in white non-Hispanic households
suffered partner violence.

· 29.2% of women and
 23.3% of men in black non-Hispanic households
 suffered partner violence.

· 20.5% of women and  15.5% of men in Hispanic  households suffered  partner violence.

Harvard university put out
there own study on verbal
abuse, they went on to say:
Scolding, swearing, yelling,
blaming, insulting,
threatening, ridiculing,  demeaning & criticizing  can be as harmful as  physical abuse, sexual  abuse outside the home or witnessing physical abuse at home.

The report suggests that, when verbal abuse is  constant and severe, it  creates a risk of post-traumatic stress disorder,
The same type of
psychological collapse  experienced by combat  troops in Iraq.

 The research on which the report is based points out  that children who are the  target of frequent verbal mistreatment exhibit  higher rates of physical  aggression, delinquency,  and social problems than  other children.

Other researchers have  associated childhood  verbal abuse with a  significantly higher risk of  developing unstable, angry personalities, narcissistic  behavior, obsessive-compulsive disorders, and paranoia.

 “Verbal abuse may also  have more lasting  consequences than other  forms of abuse, because  it’s often more continuous,” says Teicher.

 “And in combination with physical abuse and neglect, may produce the most dire outcome. 

 There are always signs, yet we chose to ignore them, here are a few

Do they...

*Make derogatory comments about a group you
belong to (gender, career,  religion, etc.)? This  comment might end with  "I mean them, not you."

*Make fun of or insult yourideas, behaviors, or beliefs

*Make negative comments about people, places or  things that you love?

*Say things that are almost true about you, but leave  you wanting to defend  yourself?

*Say, "What? It was just a  joke!" to dismiss a remark that offends you?

*Ask you questions about  something that just  happened and reply to your answers, "Do you care to  think about that and  answer the question again?" or just sit there, staring at you, in a way that lets you know your answer wasn't  "right"?

*Engage you in long
conversations about things on which you disagree  until you reach the point of wanting to say, "Okay.  Whatever. You're right!" Or insist that you repeat what they said and then, later,  claim, "You agreed with me (then)!"

*Somehow manage to  physically back you into a corner or somewhere you  cannot easily escape  during intense  conversations?

*Break you down until you say your sorry about a fight you clearly are in the right about?

 These are signs of how  you feel when you are with  them. Do you feel...

*Nervous when  approaching them with  certain topics?

*Insulted because of their use of foul language, or  does their use of foul  language change the meaning of otherwise normal  requests? (Such as, "Could you f*ck*ng tell me how  much f*ck*ng longer it will be before you're ready for dinner?")

*A need to tell on yourselfabout innocent events in  case the person hears
about it later?

*Misunderstood for the  most part in your  relationship?   

Do you doubt...

*Your sanity, intelligence, or communication skills  because of difficulties  relating to them?

*Your memories when it  comes to recalling  conversations or events  with the person because  their take on it is so  different from your own?

 Ask yourself these  questions and be brutally  honest with the answers  because these are the signs.  Victims of verbal abuse  may:

*Have difficulty forming  conclusions and making  decisions

*Feel or accept that there  is something wrong with  them on a basic level 

I am here to tell you all of this is true as I was in a verbally abusive marriage for 24 years, I know how it feels to be yelled at, put down, belittled, told you are stupid and that you could never do anything right.

I spent years crying myself to sleep, thinking I could never get out of this relationship because I didn't think I could make it on my own. His words rang over and over in my head, I'd be nothing without him, he would take my girls, I'd  be living in a box under 95...I was stuck in fear.

When I finally had the courage to leave I made it my mission to help other women, to make sure my words touched their hearts, to uplift and give encouragement to someone else who may need it, to constantly put the word out about this silent killer of lives and souls.

This will never go away if we keep quiet about it, it has to be spoken of, we have to shine the light on this dark topic and show these men and women that even though you may not raise your hands to us, you are still a abusiver!

So today my friends, I beg you to reach out, to help others who are literally stuck in these relationships, give them a way to get out, donate to your local women's shelters. You don't realize how small and precious just coming home not being afraid and just being happy is until you walked in our shoes.

 "Be the change you want to see"
 
" And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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