Don't quit

Tgif Treadmill Treats

Don't quit

Being back home brought back so many memories, one of them was how strong I was. I was a fighter growing up, I was a survivor, no matter how many times I got knocked down, I kept getting up.

As time went on and I got lost in my marriage, I felt I lost that strength, sometimes I felt helpless and believe me, there were many days when I wanted to quit.

Days when I prayed I wouldn't wake up, days that I so wanted to end all my pain and suffering, but didn't because I couldn't imagine leaving my girls to be raised by my ex.

I wanted to quit, I really did but something inside, some small hope, the size of a mustard seed, kept saying just hold on, just believe, it will get better.

I started reading books on having a positive attitude, of putting it out there.
The Secret, all of Whayne Dyer's books, Tony Robbins, you name it, I read it.

Barnes and Nobles was my favorite place, some days I was reading two books at a time. I made signs that said "You believe it, you are it" "Never give up" "Don't quit"
I had post it's on my bathroom mirror that said
"I love you" Reminding me to love myself.
You name it, I did it, I remember making a vision board and hanging it over my dryer. Some days as I folded laundry, I would cry because I hated my life so much but I would force myself to look at the vision board. I would close my eyes and see myself as strong, independent woman, surrounded by people, places and things I loved, I would envision my new life, filled with love, peace and laughter and it would get me through that day. Sometimes, it would last only that hour but as AA says even if you have to do one minute at a time to get through, you do it.

I was sitting in my living room last night, the house quite as the girls were on vacation with their dad, I looked around, I was relaxed, sitting in my home, that I bought, its  comfortable and peaceful, it's a home filled with laughter and love, it's all that I envisioned and more.

I'm not worried about criticism or the coldness that use to be in my old life.
This new life is mine and I am truly happy, I think all the time "What would have happened if I would have quit?" None of this, none of  the blessings that are going to keep coming, would have happened, its amazing that all that I've envisioned came to pass, all because I didn't quit.

So today my friends, remember life will get hard, there will be some dark times, you might feel as of you can't go on, but I'm here to tell you, it will get better just as long as you hold on, go minute by minute if you have to but don't quit!

"Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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