The Month Is Over but Domestic Violence Goes On

The month is over but Domestic Violence goes on

October was National Domestic Violence Awareness Month but just because October is over doesn't it mean domestic violence is suddenly going to disappear? Domestic violence goes on in this country, every second, of every day. This is why this is my purpose, it's to teach everyone out there who is dealing with domestic violence, that you don't have to. I want you to know that you can change, you can walk away, you can learn your worth and how you let other people treat you.

So today, on the 8th day of November, I'd like to let everyone know that this is an ongoing thing for me because this is my life purpose. Especially now that #45 is back in the office, making it seem okay to be able to demean and degrade women. So I will keep talking about domestic violence, and just because the month is over doesn't mean I am done.

I've even decided to start doing videos about knowing your worth and the things that we've been discussing in my blogs so that you get to see the face behind the blog and just in case you can't feel my passion through my writing,

(I can't see how that is possible) you will be able to see it in my videos.

I have to tell you, as I am real as hell and I never hold back on anything that is going on in my life. I thought I had worked out all of my issues from being in a verbally abusive marriage for 24 years. The first two years I was separated I didn't date, I took time, I read books, I went to support meetings, I spent time with myself owning my shit and forgiving him for his.

I found a support system, I found God, and an amazing church. I thought I was good. I had my own home, I started a new business, and I was taking care of myself and my girls but little did I know there was still some lasting residue from all the years of abuse. I've learned this in these last few years with the guys I've been dating.

I still don't know my worth. I see red flags but I still make excuses instead of running as soon as I see them. I allow them to treat me the way I tell my queens to never accept. I was still broken and I still needed these lessons to make me whole.

I've learned by going back to therapy that I still have (which I never knew I had in the first place) PTSD. I have triggers that set me off, that are still there from the years of abuse I suffered.  

I've realized it's okay to screw up.

Hell, I do it all the time. These screw-ups teach you lessons if you let them. They teach you your strength, sometimes you may slip back into your old ways, but as long as you realize it, as long as you're constantly trying to improve and change, it's within all these lessons that will be moving you forward.

I am hard-headed. I need to screw up not once but many times before I get it.

I am always trying to give people the benefit of the doubt, always trying to see the good in them. I make excuses for their lousy behavior even when it is clearly all on them. I still think it must be me and it is something that I did. It is that willingness to make someone love me, to do whatever it takes to make that person happy even if it means sacrificing my own happiness.

Yes, I am a work in progress and every day I am learning my own self-worth. Every day I learn something about myself and the issues I still have. 

If you're reading this and you think you don't have any issues, that you don't have lasting residue from your childhood, from your past relationships, or from issues you chose not to deal with, then you are lying to yourself. 

We all are broken in some way or another but the only way to fix this is to be real, to own it, to speak it, speak about it. Let it go, open that door, and kick it to the curb.

Today's the perfect day for that, it was just Halloween, so open the door let those skeletons out, and clear it all out! All the scary stuff that kept you stuck, throw it out.

You can't change what you don't acknowledge, so just do it! Acknowledge it, own it, deal with it, get help, then learn your lesson and let it go.

I am acknowledging my weaknesses, and the points that I still need to work on and I am putting them out here for you and the world to see

Now that's scary, to tell the world your deepest, darkest fears. Hell, I'm just asking you to own it to yourselves.

Let's walk this path together, I am here learning just like you. I just chose to share all of it with you and the world because we will never grow if we are stuck in fear. We will never have the courage to change if we don't see the hope of someone who is going through the same thing we are. Someone who did something about it, we see that and that gives us the courage to change as well.

If we can see others then we will say:

"If they can do it, then I can do it" 

That feeling of knowing you're not alone, that someone else walked your path and made it out, better and whole. Someone who made a different life for themselves gives you hope for your situation.

So today my friends remember, yes, you can get out of a bad situation, can walk away from domestic violence but not until you're real with yourself. It won't happen until you keep addressing it and learning the lessons you need to. It won't work until you finally know your self-worth and what you absolutely won't put up with or if make excuses for yourself, you will still be stuck there.

Domestic violence is not just about a month, it's not just about getting out. It's about teaching others their value, it's about showing the next generation change. It's about uplifting each other and it's about the constant change within ourselves.

So like I say at the end of every blog...

"Be the change you want to see"

@TreadmillTreats Check out my daily blogs @ https://treadmilltreats.blogspot.com/?m=1

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