My Regrets About Not Going Away To College

My Regrets About Not Going Away To College 

I always remember thinking growing up, that I didn't have any regrets. Even with every bad thing that happened in my life, I still don't regret anything because it made me the person that I am. But the one regret I've always had was that I didn't go away to college. I didn't have that college experience. I didn't have the dorm life with sorarities, and I really wanted that, but I didn't want to leave my mother and I was mama's girl. So I stayed in a local college close to home. I always felt that I missed out on so many things doing that. So when my girls were growing up, I always said how I wanted them to go away to college. I wanted them not to miss out on the experience that I did. 

This is what I thought I had missed out on, but after this last month, with outing of Cornell 7 who brutally raped a young women and then posted it in a group chat to come and get some, well it literally makes me sick. But what sickens me more is all of the things that so many boys and men are saying on social media.

I am now glad my girls didn't go away to school, but I'm still worried about my daughter, who is at FIU, because whether you're away or not, this is the way these young men are feeling all over the country, at all college campuses. 

So I have to ask if this is the way you raised your sons? 

Is the way you taught them to act? Is it okay, how they treat women? Especially for them to think and say and that must have been her fault, that she wanted it. Is this what you taught your sons? Just because she went to a sorority party or because she had some drinks that she had it coming? 

How many times have your boys gone to parties and gotten drunk? If they got raped would it be their faults? Of course not, they wouldn't be asked what they were wearing, or why they got drunk. You didn't have to teach your boys to watch their surroundings or keep a key between their knuckles. You didn't tell them to watch their drink every second. Or to make sure you were always with friends because you DIDN'T HAVE TO!! 

I have known that for years I have blamed myself about my rape. I knew my rapist, he was somebody I went to school with. He was somebody I thought was a friend so yes, I got in the car with him. Yes, I smoked a joint with him, so it must have been my fault that he raped me. And for years, I could not get passed that, until I found the therapist who told me that when you say no, it's no, and if they go past that, it's rape period. IT IS RAPE.

Let's say the word out loud. Let's not blur it out or say grape, because that's not what the fuck it is. It's RAPE. It took me years and years to get over this, and to not blame myself, why? Because the men in this country for so long have blamed women for not having control over their own dicks. So it must have been your fault. What did you wear? Where were you at? What were you saying? What were you drinking? It's our fault, not the fact that you're a fucking man and you can't control your urges. That you choose to rape a women, because a woman won't sleep with your sleazy ass. Let's be truthful here. This is about your inability to get a woman. It's about the fact that you're a loser. The fact that there's something so broken in your being that you can't take no for an answer. The fact that you would think or laugh or even do this to a woman is sick. How many of you have sisters or mothers who are women? Yet you care nothing about that. Because boys will be boys, they aren't bad boys just because they gang raped a woman. Don't ruin their lives. Yet it doesn't matter that you have ruined this girl's life forever! 

So today my friends and the parents are out there raising young men. This is on you, how you raise your child. This is on society to not keep allowing this to happen. This is on the college campuses that are supposed to keep our daughters safe but are not! This is on the men who laughed and said all these things on social media. This is on our sick government who elected a pedophile and rapist and makes jokes and puts down women like it is okay. This is on those boys and the thousands of others out there who think it is alright and did not speak out about this, you all are guilty! Everyone needs to do better! 

But only if we all make a change.

@TreadmillTreats

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