The pain they leave behind....

There are no words for the pain one feels when you lose a loved one, there is not pain worst then this pain,because you know this is final. You will never see this person again, they are in a better place, but you are left here, broken, hurt and trying to make sense of it all. Even when you know that they are no longer in pain, even when the quality of their lives were no longer there, even though they lived a long and happy life, it still hurts the same way. You will no longer be able to talk to that person, you will never see their sweet faces again, there will be a hole in your heart that you will never be able to replace. There are moments that it just hurts to breathe, the pain hits you so hard, its overwhelming, you feel you will never get past this hurt. When my mother passed away I was devastated, she was my best friend but as bad as I was hurting I was hurting that much more for my daughter, who Gramie meant the world to, who was her best friend as well, who every morning and every night, she would run home to Gramies room to tell her she loved her, to talk about her day, to tell her goals and dreams to. This broke my heart, not only was I hurting but here I was watching my girls hurt as well and knowing I couldn't do anything to ease their pain. For me it was double the pain I feeling, this was the third person they had lost in the span of three years, first their Uncle Waltie, then their Grandfather now their Gramie, I was not processing all of this, how could they possibly be? You support each other, you comfort each other, you let the other person cry and curse, you are there for them, that is all you can do, you are helpless and there are moments when you are just trying to stay afloat, trying to get through each day and sometimes just getting through each minute. Yes, they went home, they are in a wonderful place filled with love and peace and you are left here to suffer.... There is no time limit on grief just as there is no who they were to you scale that matters, doesn't matter if they were your mother, you best friend, your uncle, they were loved by you, they were part of your life, they touched your heart, the pain is the same, love is love. My dad has been gone almost 30 years and sometimes when I think about him my hearts hurts as much as it did that day thirty years ago and I cry because I wish he was here to see my girls and my life now. I know he will always be looking down on be one of my many angels I have lost and that gives me comfort. So dear friend as you are going through this at this time, know that you are not alone, know that its okay to fall apart, but know that you have people who love you and are here for you and it will get better. This life is for the living, the greatest gift and tribute we can give to those we loved and lost is to live life large, to never have regrets, to be a blessing to others and to love, love big, love lots , love many! www.beachbodycoach.com/treadmilltreats www.treadmilltreats.wordpress.com