I have been good on my own...right?

Hump day Treadmill Treats

I've been good on my own...right?

I have been single for a while, I am good on my own, I am fine with myself and the life I've made with my girls and my friends, family and church.

I got this...I didnt need a man, besides look at my previous choices, I didnt do to well there, did I? I was hurt to many times so how could I trust, why would I want to open myself up to that hurt again.

I've picked man after man who wouldn't step up, who lied and cheated, who put me down and wanted me to be someone I was not.

No, I have lousy picker, I get that and because of that I have been afraid to pick, so its been easier just to stay single.

Yet, I speak to you all the time about happily ever afters, about stepping out, about overcoming your fears, about how love is the only thing that is worth living for.

Yes, sometimes its do as I say not what I do but I know that I never wanted to live my life alone, I have a big heart and lots of love to give. I loved being a wife, I  am a one man women, a do or die girl, I have your back and want the person I love to always feel special and loved. I have all of this stuck inside of me, wanting love yet afraid to open up and let someone in.

See sometimes your going along with your life, not expecting anything when life changes. When one day your friends and the next something shifts, when it all changes.

It's not until someone comes along and throws a curve ball into your life, that you start to wonder, that your heart starts to stir again.You fight it, you argue with yourself, you refuse to see it or believe it.

Your can't go there...can you?
No! Your good, your friends, you got a wrong picker remember?

Yet somehow these feelings are coming at you, you push them away, you scream in your head this can't be happening!

Your heart is saying other things you don't want to listen to.
You stick your fingers in your ears and yell at yourself like a 5 year old...
"Bad picker, bad picker, bad picker"

You go over all the hurt, you list all the pain. You give yourself all the reasons this is a bad idea and still something wont shut up in your heart.

But you know yourself, you bolt when someone opens up their feelings to you, this has always been your MO.
You stay and run after the ones who cant and wont step up...easier that way.
No, the ones who are there you run from....

All the arguing in the world wont erase the fact that this man, this friend has awakened something in you, you thought was dead.
The scariest part will have to be decided....will you choose to open up and give a friendship that could  possibly lead into a beautiful relationship a chance?
Or will you run, holding on to your heart so it wont be hurt again?

So many emotions, so many feelings, so many decisions....

So today my friends, I can only tell you to do whats in your heart, follow your gut, your intuition. And know that sometimes the curve ball life throws you can be a game changing thing, but you have to be willing to be in the game to play.

"Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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