Stand up and be a dad

Hump day Treadmill Treats

Stand up and be a dad

There are sometimes I am at a loss for words...and for me that is a miracle but this is definitely one of them.

See I was married for 24 years, I always thought we would put our children first, that no matter what happened, they would always be first priority.

When I finally had the courage to leave this verbally abusive marriage, I still thought this.
I swore I would never talk bad about their dad (believe me, its harder then I thought )
For the most part I have tried to do this, hello! I am human and I do slip every now and then.

I even tried to tell my girls what a great dad he was to them, as I want my girls to have a good relationship with their father, they need a dad in their lives.

I remember my oldest said "What makes him a good dad because he pays for things? Because he shows up for things?"
I said "Yes, definitely"
She said "No, it doesn't.. he calls us names, puts us down, uses his money to control us, makes us feel like shit all the time, just because he pays and shows up doesn't make him a great dad"

I was shocked but she was right...lately I've been shaking my head at the things he's been doing like refusing to pay for prom or graduation or even college stuff. All because our little one moved in with me full time. He no longer has control of her, he no longer has anyone to abusive, this is now his new control.

I pray every day for enough money that they will never have to ask him for anything, that I can do everything for them but I also pray for him, that God may change his heart because one day he will wake up and be an old man and realize he pushed his girls away, that he ruined any hopes of a relationship with them and that will be sad not just for him but for them as well.

He's still mad at me, he hates me and says so at every turn. He tells my little one when she turns 18 he will never talk to me again....really?? How very grown up of you, these are our kids like it or not, we will forever have a bond...

Move on, don't try to hurt me by withholding things for them. Yes, she will get a prom dress, she will have graduation, she will have money for college.. see I will work even harder to make sure of it and yes, your hurting me, by making me struggle to do what you should be doing.

You know you make 4 times what I do but believe me, your really hurting them in the long run...your showing them love comes with strings, that if you do what I say, I will love you and I'll take care of you....sorry it doesn't work like that.

You cant fathom the fact that I am past all your pettiness, that I forgave you a long time ago.
I wish you peace and joy, I pray your heart softens and that it's not too late for you and your girls...let it go already, I've moved on, you moved on...let go of all that hate and anger. We will always be connected by these two amazing young women, let's try to do right by them.

Let's try to make their graduation, proms, marriages, children, holiday's and their life events be filled with peace, don't make them pick sides, don't make them uncomfortable because of your issues, please for the love of God...let it go already!

Be the dad they need, the kind of dad they can look up to, admire, be the kind of man they will search out as a mate one day. Be kind, forgiving, show them change is possible, show them how much you love them by being the best dad they need now and forever.

So today my friends remember these words....send it to the Dads out there who think they are hurting you by withholding from their children.

Let them know you will go to the ends of the earth for your children, you will get it done, you will provide with no strings attached but in the long run, it's the pain we see in our children's eyes that we cannot fix, it's the hurt you cause them, we cannot erase... it is that that causes us the most pain...because no matter what we do, we can't fix it... we can't fix them wanting you to do the right thing, to love them unconditionally.
Please stand up and be the dad they need before it's too late.

"Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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