Forgiveness is not for other's, it is for you

Thursday Treadmill Treats

Forgiveness is not for others, it is for you...

Yesterday I was talking to a friend of mine and yet again he brought up something that happened 30 years ago, he was still pissed at that person as if it happened yesterday. I was taken back, I said "let it go...it was 30 years ago"

He couldn't, he was still angry, he was still hurting, it was if he was still waiting for them to admit they were wrong...guess what? They aren't going to.

I tell you all the time, I am human, I was hurt, I was mad at the people in my life who screwed me over, who misused my trust, who lied, cheated and done me wrong and yes, there were times that I wanted to punch them in the face, hey I am only human!

I had all of these emotions going through me at once, I hated them for throwing our friendship away. How could they hurt me like this?
We all have experienced these emotions at one time or another, we are all human.

But I knew I had to forgive them not for them but for me. See I learned that unforgiviness will empower those who OWE you to OWN you...

Yes, they will own you, your thoughts, your emotions, your time, your whole life is thinking and hating them...they own you.

Letting go, let's you go... you have to forgive and then let go...it's the only way to release it. In order for us to continue to grow, we have to learn how to continue letting go.

Now let me tell you, forgiveness is NOT...a approval of what the offender did to you...
Is is not closing our eyes to the wrong...

Forgiveness is not forgetting...
Forgiveness is not submitting to abuse...
Forgiveness is not automatically trusting again...
Forgiveness is not always the restoration of a relationship...you can forgive but your not going to get played again, your not going to allow that person back into your life.

Yes, I forgive them but we are done, finshed, you will never get the chance to screw me over again.
I am a one and done girl, I will be your best friend, have your back, be your biggest supporter but you screw me and we are done!

We also think forgiveness  is avoiding confrontation, no, you are allowed to say your feelings, to confront them on their wrong doings, to tell them your mad, hurt, and pissed as hell. You can be all of these things and speak them and then forgive and walk away.

But you also have to remember that sometimes you won't get that chance, they might never admit to to their wrong doings, you might never get that apology you are so desperately looking for and you have to be okay with that...again this is for you, not them.

Unforgiviness is a spirit of bondgage, that keeps you stagnant and stuck in that place of hurt and hate...
Forgiveness is a spirit of liberation that sets you free so that we can move on without hatred.

People think if I forgive them, I am giving them a pass on what they did.
No your not, your not saying it's okay that you've done such a horrible thing, your acknowledging what they did, your speaking what they did, your not forgetting what they did but your releasing all the hate and anger you holding within you, you are setting yourself free.

So today my friends, is anger and hate holding you hostage? When you think of that person does your whole persona change?
Is all your time focused on hating them and hurting from what they did to you?

When they are living their lives without a care in the world, not thinking of you and what they did to you...see hating them has no effect on them...none what so ever ...the only effect it has is on you...think about that... and then forgive and set yourself free...

"What you can become depends on what you can overcome"

"Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the moth thought his life was over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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