Knowing when the sauce is bad

Knowing when the sauce is bad

I was speaking to a friend of mine last night at church trying to get a male perspective on some things going on in my life.

What he said to me was a ah ha Oprah light bulb moment for me, it suddenly made things clear as day. I seem to have to get these moments from my male friends, like my "You need to bring more to the table than just your dick moment" for me to see clearly.

He said it's like your special homemade spaghetti sauce, it takes you 8 hours to make. You care for it, you put special ingredients in it, you make sure you stir it the whole time, you put love and affection into it and that sauces taste good, real good, everybody loves it, but then you fall asleep and you leave the sauce out and it turns bad...

Are you going to eat it again, after it turns bad? Is it going to be the same? No, You can't go back to it after it turns bad, it was good but now it's not. It's done with, even if you remember how good that sauce was once before, it's not good any more.

Wow....really....wow... I get it, I don't know why my ex came at me this weekend, after we hadn't seen each other since I broke up with him, with all this "I miss you so much"
Grabbing me in public no less, when he wouldn't normally do it and maybe that's the reason it threw me. Maybe that's the reason I had all these things going on in my head but the bottom line is yes, that sauce was once amazing, we enjoyed it, it was good while we were eating it but that sauce is no longer good.

Because we needed things to keep that sauce good and I have tried to explain that, see there were certain ingredients needed to make this sauce. You didn't bring the ingredients needed for the sauce, even after I told you exactly what they were, you still didn't bring them.

And because of that the sauce went bad, you could have changed that, you could have made that sauce good but you chose not to step up and now after all this time, that you left the sauce out and it went bad, now you want to eat it again.

I realize my problem is that I am always trying to see the best in people, I want to believe that their intentions are true, are pure when sometimes they aren't.
Sometimes they are self serving, sometimes they are there to play you, sometimes they just want what they want regardless of your feelings, yet I don't see that because I am trying to see the good.

But sometimes there is no good and I need to realize that and let it go, I need to know I cannot eat the sauce again because it is no longer good for me.
It will make me sick and at this point in my life, I have no time to be sick.

I have an amazing life, I know I am a incredible women with alot to offer a man and I am no longer willing to settle as I have in the past. I have to know even though I put time and effort into making that sauce so good, it's no longer good and it's time to throw it out.

So today my friends remember that there are things that even though you may have liked, they are no longer good for you. You wouldn't drink expired milk would you? No, you wouldn't so don't stay in a expired relationship when it's no longer good for you.

There will always be a chance for you to make another sauce, hell even a better sauce, the best sauce you ever made, if you give it time.

"Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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