Self love

Self love 


I decided to write about a kind of love that we don't talk much about, Self love. I don't know why it's so hard for us to put ourselves first, we put everybody else in front of us and we are always at the end of the list. Especially us as women, we do this all the time. I remember a therapist that I went to once, telling me that you have to look at it as if you are on an airplane. When the flight attendant tells you that in case of an emergency, grab your mask and put it on 1st and then help your loved ones put on there's, that is the same as self love. 


That analogy was kind of an eye opener to me because if you don't put that mask on you first then you will not be able to help your loved ones in an emergency situation. It's kind of like life if you don't take care of yourself 1st, then you won't be able to take care of others. I know for so many years I was a pleaser, I wanted to please everybody else so much so that I let myself go, physically, emotionally and mentally until there was nothing left of me and I didn't even know who I was anymore. 


I remember one day waking up  and looking in the mirror and I didn't know who I was anymore. I hated myself and my life and right there and then knew I had to make a change. Trust and believe I came against a lot of resistance from my family who obviously wanted things to stay the same. My family would laugh at me during dinner, saying "Oh mom's into that woo, woo stuff again" but I didn't care, because I knew that I needed this for me. So I started reading books and I started to go to Self Help seminars.


I went to Louise Hay's I can do it seminar. I went to go see Dr. Wayne Dyer, Merriam Williamson, Dr. Brain Weiss, Tony Robbins, all these Self Help gurus that would give me some insight on how to love myself and how to change. 


The more I started to like myself, the more my ex kept on me about how stupid I was and how dumb all of this was because he could see the change coming and he was afraid. I was getting stronger and he couldn't let that happen because then he would lose his control over me but even that didn't stop me. 


I would put up sticky notes in my bathroom that said you are worthy, you are beautiful, you can do this, anything that would keep me motivated to get to this new me. I started writing a gratitude journal and some days I have to be honest, I wasn't grateful for much. So I'd write I was grateful for waking up or my girls, for food or my home. Small things, anything just to start my mind thinking that way. I started writing positive things about what I wanted my life to be, how I wanted to feel. I made vision boards with what I wanted to do when I was there. All of this to reprogram my mind.


 Look, I know it's easy to love others and hell, I've loved some really crappy men and even that was easy but self love is hard. We think we don't deserve it, that it is selfish, why do we need it and so it's always last on our list. But when you don't love yourself, when you put yourself last, you are giving free reign to others to treat you like that as well.


I've learned that it is okay to take 20 minutes a day and meditate, or to go to the gym every morning for me. For my body and my mental health are one. It's okay not to do the dishes and meet up with your girlfriends, to have a massage or facial, to take that time that you need to recharge but all of this took time. I had to give myself permission to say you deserve this, and this is okay. I had to learn that I wasn't taking anything away from my loved ones by adding things for me. 


So today my friends, my message is we must learn self love, it's okay to love yourself, to put yourself first. It will make you a better mother or father, a better partner, and an amazing parent because you are fulfilled and happy. I practice what I preach, I exercise, I get monthly facials. I enjoy my friends and make time for them and the things I love to do because I know I'm worth it, and it is my gift to myself. So do something this week just for yourself, take that time and love yourself, because you are so worth it.


"Be the change you want to see"


"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"


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