Grieving What We Wished For

Grieving what we wished for

Sometimes we are all just grieving the person we hoped we would become. 

Sometimes we are grieving for ourselves and sometimes we grieve for another and who we wanted them to be.

But sometimes you have to die to have a rebirth. We need to change, even if we are afraid of it. We get stagnant in jobs, in relationships, even in friendships that we are too scared to end. Sometimes God, the universe or whatever higher power you believe in pushes you into a better place. Even though at the time we may think it is the end, most of the time it is a beautiful beginning that we were too afraid to walk into.

Maybe you're grieving about someone else, someone that you hoped that they would be, your "You complete me" person. You hoped that they would change, and you held on for years sometimes, waiting for that... For all you knew they could be. But that is not on you, that is on them because as much as we wish someone will change, as much as we may see potential in someone, that wish is never going to happen unless they want it. You can only change you, like they teach you in AA, you must first admit you have a problem in order to fix it. And then there are the steps you must go through to get you to your end result.

You may be grieving about who you wanted to become but maybe that wasn't the person you were supposed to be. Maybe that relationship was holding you back from becoming what you truly needed to be or the job you stayed at but hated because of the security it brought you.They say that hindsight is 20/20 and it's true sometimes we are too close to really see what is good for us at that moment. When you step back, when you are away from that picture, you can see it better. You can realize that you needed the change yet fear kept you stuck in that situation.

I know personally I couldn't see the big picture. I was so stuck in fear, in what ifs, that I was paralyzed. It was only when I stepped out of my fear that I learned all that I was capable of. I learned I could do things I never dreamed possible. My only regret was that I should have left sooner. I wanted more time to grow into this person I was now becoming. 

We can't live our life's on regret or what if's or could have beens, we need to take the chance now before it's too late and you're on your deathbed saying I wish I would have… 

Just as in life we can grieve but there comes a point that you need to move on. That person is no longer there, that dream has passed, and we cannot stay stuck in the past and in what could have been. We need to move on, start over and find a better way to change our lives. 

So today my friends let's not grieve about the past, about what if's and should haves, let's step out into the unknown with an open heart and open mind and be ready for all of life's new adventures. And as I say at the end of every blog only you can be the change you want to see.

@Treadmilltreats 

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