I've been through a lot of shit...

I've been through a lot of shit...

Ever see that quote on social media with the cartoon character saying "When I look back I can't believe how much shit I've been through"
Well, that about sums it up for my life. I look back and think dam...how did I survive? How much crap can one person go through and still have faith, still see the good in people, and still have a heart that full of love...all I can say is..but...God.

Yesterday as I came home from the gym, I did 16 laps and had a great sauna and steam room, it was a great workout and I felt great. I had a spring in my step, singing to myself, it was just one of those great mornings where you feel good to be alive. Riding home the sun was coming up, it was a magnificent sky and I was listening to Kirk Franklin's song Over, it goes... it's not over if you got air to breathe it's not over...get up cause it's not over... you're a fighter... with strength from somewhere above...you've been here before, but you made it...even when your enemy turns out to be your best friend... it's not over.

I pulled up to my home to see it all decorated in Christmas lights and I sat in my driveway and balled like a baby. Why you ask? Because I know where I've been and how far I've come. I know the bottom and am so grateful for all I have now, so much so it brings me to tears all the time. I am here to tell you I am glad that all of that happened to me, it was to make me stronger, it was to believe in something I couldn't see, and it was to teach me never to take anything for granted.

It was to give me this gratitude that I feel each and every day I walk into my home, into a client's home, or into the gym. I know the blessings I've received... this home, this business I have, this body that can walk every day and is healthy, my girls, my family, and my friends. I have a peace and joy I never imagined, I have no stress or worry, I take none of this for granted and I am so very grateful.

So yes, I am glad I've been hurt, glad I was raped, that I've been lied to and cheated on, glad I went through a 24-year verbally abusive marriage, that I had drug and alcohol problems, that I hit rock bottom more than once because I know now where my strength comes from.

I know I will survive, that no matter what comes against me again, I will stand back up and fight against it. I will come back time and time again because that is what a fighter does, he never gives up no matter how tough it gets... he keeps fighting because he knows the prize is going to be amazing, so amazing that it will take your breath away and bring you to tears.

So today my friends if you think I can't do this, it's too hard, you want to give up, look back at what you've already been through, look how far you've come, and know that you can do it, they may knock you down but your not out for the count and then you too can say I've been through a lot of shit...I survived and I am blessed.

** I know this is a tough time of year so I will be putting this number out there for all that needs it...I been there and I know how dark it may seem especially during the Christmas season, there is help, it will get better...I am living proof of "This too shall pass"**
Please get help, call today:
National Suicide Hotline: 24/7
1-800-273-8255

"Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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My new book The blessing in Disguise
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