Your never to old to change

Your never to old to change

I am a huge believer in change, hell at the end of every blog, my hashtag is "Be the change you want to see"

Be the change, change  your life, your attitude, your relationship, your career, anything that is not bringing you happiness, change!

Do you know a recent study said that 85% of people are misrable in their jobs. 85 % that's huge! These people hate going to work every day, 5 days a week, 52 weeks a year, how bad is that?

I'll bet if there was a poll about relationships, there would be way more that aren't happy. Yet we stay,
we stay misrable, unhappy, unfulfilled, year after year because most of us are afraid of change.

I raise my hand I was scared, I liked my big lifestyle, I didn't want to struggle, I didn't think I could do it on my own after so many years.

This person who was crippled by fear, has had so many changes in the last 6 years it would make your head spin.
And just when I think I'm good, I learned the lessons I needed to, I am good at where I am at, Bam! Something else changes and I need to learn more lessons.

Just recently, I realized that as an addict, I have those qualities to become addicted again, maybe not with my addiction of choice, cocaine, but with other addictions, for me it's been abuisve men.

From one abuisve man to another, over and over, this addiction that I have picking these types of men.
So I could either blame them and go on with my life with my head up my ass or I could admit that it is my issue and try to work on it.

An ex said some horrible things to me after I decided not to give it another try with him recently. I was hurt, I wanted to lash out and say "How dare you say this!"
But I stopped and looked at all he was saying and asked myself, what if any, was the truth here? I made myself become brutally honest and take a deep look and see what I owned.

Turns out I needed to own a bunch of shit, I did get angry fast, I think everyone should have my heart and do what I would do and then get mad when they don't. I do have some lasting issues from my verbally abuisve marriage, these are my issues that I obviously havent addressed.

So I made a change, I went back to AA, to work the steps, to make sure I never slide back to my old addictions. I also found a counselor and a support group for abused women as I need to figure out steps to change this destructive behavior.

Who knew at this age I'd still be learning, growing and changing but the one thing I have learned is If you don't have an opened mind, if your not willing to change, if your stuck in your ways, you will become stagnant and you will die.

Just like the flowers, in the fall they need to die to come back to life in the spring, we need to kill parts of ourselves to regrow, to change, to become better.

The first steps to change is to admit you need help, admit you have a problem, to say I want to change because this isn't working for me anymore.
So here I am raising my hand saying these are my issues and I want to change because I refuse to keep doing what I am doing.

Because I can't write this blog saying own your worth when I am not owning mine. I can't keep saying it's their problems, not mine, when it is clearly me who keeps picking them and letting them into my life.

So here I am my friends, open and raw for everyone to see that no, you are not alone, we all have issues even when it seems we have it all together.
We just need to be truthful, take a deep look and own your shit and then deciede enough is enough and make a change...see your never to old to change...

"Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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