What is addiction?

What is addiction?

"Addiction is a behavior you repeat over and over, that is having detrimental effects on your life"

 I love this definition that Russell Brant gave to Bill Maher on his show recently.

When Bill asked him about his addiction, Russell said it is all about a connection, so many outside forces are telling us that if we buy this, or use that, that we will be happier, prettier or have it all and we keep searching for more when it doesn't work, when in actuality, it is all about the fact that we don't feel good about ourselves from the start.

I know for me and many addicts that addiction is a place to hide, a place where we don't have to face our lives and the pain we are feeling. Drugs and alcohol takes us to a place of forgetfulness, a place at least for a while, that doesn't hurt.

 But eventually we come down and all that we are running from confronts us when we awake from our drug induced comas. So what is it you need to do? Run back to that bottle, or those pills or that drug whatever it may be, to take you back to that place of euphoria. It is a vicious cycle that goes on and on because you have not come to terms with the underlying problem.

For me it was a series of events that were too overwhelming for me to deal with. At the tender age of 15, my mother got breast cancer, a month later my dad died at 45, a month after I was raped as a virgin, then I found out that I was pregnant. Having to indure a horrific abortion performed by a monster back alley doctor and my mother telling me "We shall never speak of this again " sent me into a pit of despair. My only way out or so I thought was a suicide attempt that obviously didn't work so I found the comfort of drugs and alcohol. After losing my 2 best friends, that sent me over the edge into the point of no return. There was no Dr.Phil or Oprah, we didn't talk about our problems back in the stone age,no, we were suppose to pull up our big girl panties and deal with it.

There was no therapy, there was just you and your pain, replaying in your head every time you close your eyes. There was a constant fight to push the pain down from coming up and taking over and drugs and alcohol eased that pain. It took me and many others to a fantasy world of "peace" for the moment.

But as I learned in AA you must admit you have a problem to get the help you need and that is a huge issue for a lot of people. Ego, as I wrote about yesterday takes over and won't let you admit to defeat. What would people say? Not coherent enough to realize everyone knows you have a problem but you! You say to yourself I am dealing with it, I am good. I am not a drug addict or a drunk, I have a job, a career, a family, a home that is not me, that's the homeless person I pass on the way to work in the morning.

All lies you tell yourself to not admit you can't handle what's going on inside your mind, as if admitting it would be admitting you been lying to yourself for many years.

Addicts don't change we give up one addiction for another. A drug addiction for alcohol addiction. A alcohol addiction for a gambling addiction, a gambling addiction for a sex addiction, sex addiction for a food addiction. The cycle continues until we admit who we are and what we are looking for or running from.

So today my friends, I am here to tell you, you can deal with the issues that are eating you up inside, but you must first admit to having a problem, get some help, talk to a therapist, a pastor, someone that will guide you into finding the underlying problem that started you on this path. It is only then when you confront your demons and learn how to deal with them and let them go will you truly be set free.

It is possible, look at me, look at Russell Brant and the thousands of others who have done it. You can do but the first step is up to you, to know and admit to your addiction.

** I know this is a tough of year so I will be putting this number out there for all that needs it...I have been there and I know how dark it may seem especially during the Christmas season, there is help, it will get better...I am living proof of 

"This too shall pass"**

Please get help, call today:

National Suicide Hotline: 24/7

1-800-273-8255

"Be the change you want to see"

 

"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

**Now released my latest book**

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