Family time

Family time 

This year my girls wanted to go away for Thanksgiving, for our annual family vacation. If you follow me you know how close I am to my girls and nothing is more important to me than spending quality time with them. So we all got together to try to figure out where we wanted to go. Our first choice was Thailand but they didn't have enough time off for that so we figured Costa Rica was close enough. Surprisingly we have traveled a lot together but we had never been there. So we set it up and my big one like always made all the plans and booked all the excursions.

I didn't care where we spent Thanksgiving as long as I was with my girls, I remember last year when my girls were in Europe and it was the first time we were apart, how hard that was on me. I couldn't imagine Thanksgiving without them so instead I went away with my girlfriends to a house on the beach.

My point is that it doesn't matter where you are during the holidays, as long as your with your loved ones,as it is a time to give thanks for all your blessings. There is not a day that goes by that I am not grateful for my life, not a second that I don't think it could have been another way and that it was another way for so long.

I want you to examine your life, really examine it. Are you happy? Do you have peace and joy in your home and your heart? Is this the life you imagined for yourself? I know these are hard questions to ask yourself but I am here to tell you that life is passing you by and at this age it is going fast, faster than you want it to. I am telling you this because I realized that I should have left my abusive marriage years before but I stayed, thinking that it would be better to keep our dysfunctional family together. I now see how many years I wasted being unhappy, hating my life and just going through the motions, to try to get by day by day.

That is no way to live and I see that now, now that I am away from it, now that I am happy. Each morning I literally cry on the way to the gym or on the way home seeing the sunrise knowing that this is now my life. This is how much I have changed, that I am crying tears of joy instead of tears of hopelessness and sorrow.

While we were away we talked a lot about the divorce and my girls feelings about it. My little one said I should have left a lot earlier and she was right I should have but I was scared. Fear of the unknown kept me stuck and this may be you right now, stuck in fear. You may be thinking like I was how am I going to support myself and my kids? Can I do it? All these times he told you that you are worthless, that you will never make it without him, you haven't had a "real"job in years or maybe your job is not enough to live on. Maybe like me you lived a big lifestyle, fancy cars, big house, toys ect and how could you leave that or take that away from your kids.

Maybe your parents told you, you couldn't make it on your own like my mother told me when I finally broke down and told her how unhappy I was and that planted yet another seed of self doubt. 

Whatever the reason I am here to tell you, push them aside and leave now! Your not getting any younger, you don't want to scar your children anymore than you already have. You have no idea how happy you can be on your own, living on your own terms. 

Will it be hard? Yes, I won't sugar coat shit, it will be but not as hard as living a lie every day. Not as hard as being miserable and hating your life, pretending to be happy, this is a piece of cake because no matter what you will find your peace and joy and that will keep you.

So today my friends, I am here to tell you that family time with your children and your loved ones is priceless. But don't give them a half version of yourself, stop putting on the fake smile while your heart is breaking inside. Live your best life now, the time is now to be happy because you are not guaranteed tomorrow. All your children want is too see you happy and trust and believe they know when your faking it even if you think your doing a great job hiding it.

So make the best of family time, sit down and be honest, put it all out on the table with that ham. Let them know how you truly feel, let them tell you their feelings as well. It will be amazing how good that will feel.

"Be the change you want to see"

 

"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

**Now released my latest book**

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