Does it really matter what people think or say about you?
Does it really matter what people think or say about you?
I know for many of us growing up, we cared about what people said and thought about us.
We worried about if people liked us or if we can we fit in or what can I do, to be cool or popular in high school.
It was a really hard time for so many people because we were questioning who we were and what we were here for. For many people it was only after high school that you finally started to find out who you were. It was then you started to have more confidence in yourself and could truly be who you were.
I know for me I came to this point earlier than others, I came to the point where I didn't care what people said about me because for so many years in high school people talked shit about me. People said I was a whore, even though I was a virgin. Even though I dated my high school sweetheart for 6 years until I was 18, before I even thought about sleeping with him.
But because I had so many guy friends and the fact that I was a tomboy, everyone assumed that I slept with all of these guy friends.
That taught me this lesson early on, that no matter what, people are going to talk about you, even when you know it's not true. Even when they don't know you, it doesn't matter, people will say what they will say because they're haters.
But even though I learned this early on, I still didn't come into my own until after high school and it was then that I started to dance to the beat of my own drummer.
I had originally moved to the country from the city and I missed the city life so much that I would buy all my clothes in the city and I would come back to the country thinking I was a city girl.
Here I was in these dresses with hats and veils, and high heels walking into these shit kicker bars where everyone was wearing flannel shirts and boots. I didn't care what people thought about me, I was dancing to my own drummer and this attitude carried through most of my life until I met my ex husband.
It was then that I realized he was obsessed with "What will people think?"
And he expected it in all of his life, me included. I have to tell you that it's hard to be someone you're not. It's hard to have to worry about what other people are going to think about you every single day.
And after we had children, it became worst because now I had to make sure our whole family looked like the "perfect family"
Even though we were a dysfunctional mess, every day I needed to put on this mask. Every second I had to worry about what I said, how I laughed, if I cursed, how we were looking to the outside world and I have to tell you, it was exhausting.
When I got divorced I finally let go of my need to please, I finally let go of caring about what other people think because I didn't have that pressure on me anymore from my ex husband. I learned to like myself again. No, I learned to love myself and if you loved me, then you would accept me for who I was because this was it. The good, the bad and the ugly, this was who I was and I will never, ever pretend again.
When I started to go to church I decided that this is who I am. I'm not perfect and I'm not there for anybody else to think they can place judgment on me. I'm not the perfect Christian, I curse, I break all kinds of commandments, I'm loud but this is who I am and I know God loves me for who I am.
The only person I care about their judgment is God's, so no one else's judgment matters to me, because no one else is God.
So if you didn't like me because I'm supposably a Christian and christians don't curse...well, there's the door. If you don't like me because I'm single and I'm dating and I'm going out to dance at the clubs and then I go to church on Sunday...well there's the door, don't let it hit you in the ass on the way out.
I don't care what your opinion is of me because this is something between me and God, not you, me and God.
So today my friends, my message is do you, don't worry about what people have to say, don't worry if you fit in. Don't worry if you're "perfect" because none of us are perfect.
This is your life and it is too short to go around pretending to be something you're not. Don't waste your time or energy on haters because they will think what they will and you will never change their minds so who cares? Do they pay your bills? Do their opinions affect your life one bit if you don't let it? No, who gives a shit about them. You're unique, you're one of a kind, you are you, so dance to that drummer, to whatever tune you have playing in your head, and just know I'll be dancing with you.
"Be the change you want to see"
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"
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