Calling Mr Petty

Calling Mr. Petty

Sometimes things happen in my life that I just have to laugh about because they are just that stupid.

Recently I had one of these moments, where I sat and shook my head thinking are you serious?

If you follow me you know I've been divorced for the last 8 years and no, it wasn't a nice divorced. Even though I didn't cheat, steal his money or any other horrible reason it was still ugly. I was just done, done with being verbally abused, I lost my mom suddenly and realized life was too short and I wanted to live whatever time I had here happy, that's all.

But because I wanted the divorce, he has always had it in for me, even though I got nothing, no alimony, only 250.00 a month child support for 2 kids and left everything in the house when I left that wasn't enough for him.

Throughout the years it was tough, constantly taking him to court, him not talking to me about the girls best interests, or him calling and texting me constantly trying to intimidate me into doing what he wanted.

I didn't play into his games as I was through but I am still human and sometimes it hurts. Like when he turned all of our friends against me when we got divorced. When he wouldn't speak to me at our daughter's high school graduation or let me come to the family lunch afterwards even though the whole family wanted me to come.

When he wouldn't let me come to his sister's wedding, even though I've been to every event in her whole life. When our daughter was hospitalized he wouldn't come while I was there, so to not upset my daughter I would leave so he could come. I have tried to be civil to him, I tried to tell him that we will always be in each other's lives as we have children together but no, he is so pissed off and so petty, he will not hear any of it.

I forgave him years ago without an apology, for my own peace of mind and I also owned my own shit in the marriage and moved on but it seems he can't or won't.

And just when I think he can't get pettier, that's my word, he does.

Like when he told my girls he hopes I die, or when my daughter got a flat tire and I couldn't help her with my arm in a cast, he wouldn't come because her car was parked in front of my house.

Really? Did he think I would kill him or come outside and say something, for what? Helping our daughter out?? Whatever the reason he chose to punish our daughter for it.

But the kicker, the petty of all time award had to be last night when my daughter told me he bought some geckos and he needed empty toilet paper rolls for them. She said she would bring some and then he said not if they come from your mother's house.

Well where did you think they would come from, she lives with me??

Seriously? That had to be the stupidest thing I've heard so far and trust and believe I've heard some pretty stupid shit. Well, I couldn't stop laughing, and thinking, really get over it already. How long will you keep this grudge? How long will you continue to be petty? Will you be like your mother, who I love to death but it's been 45 years and she still hates his dad and still can't let it go. I've heard that story every time I see her as long as I've been part of this family for 27 years...please for the love of God, let it go!

In the beginning I asked where karma was since he got everything, and his lifestyle didn't change. I on the other hand had to work 3 jobs. I struggled but he went on with the big lifestyle he always had and at one point I was mad, where the hell was karma? But I've learned to realize that karma comes in all shapes and being bitter and petty is a self induced karma. Because I live my best life, I never ask or talk about him to my girls, I could care less as I moved on and let it go, even the part of asking for karma.

I cannot hold anger and bitterness and move on. I had to forgive, I had to let go to grow and change. I even pray for him, that he will change, at least for the sake of his children. 

Yes, that one was a hard one for me as I remembered when my pastor said it and I thought "I'll pray… for him to get hit by a bus" 

Sorry, I am human and back then that's how I felt but I've learned to move on, to let God, to forgive, to pray for your enemies.

So today my friends, this story is to remind you that your actions affect your children, they affect your life. Anger and bitterness, being stuck on petty, if you let it, it will eat you up, no matter how many years goes by if you're still holding on to it, it is still affecting you. Forgive, move on, let it go, life is too short to be stuck on petty.

"Be the change you want to see"

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