Keeping The Kids Out Of Divorce

Keeping The Kids Out Of Divorce 

So this is a tough issue to talk about and one that many people have to live through. I know because I went through it while my girls were still 

teenagers. I truly wanted a divorce like my parents. They were divorced but they never talked badly about each other. They were best friends and had always made an effort to put me first. I wanted this for my children but unfortunately, my ex-husband was not having any of that.

My girls unfortunately got stuck in the crossfire and it got ugly. 

Recently I heard about someone who was going through the same thing. But if I thought my divorce was bad, it was nothing compared to hers. 

Her soon-to-be ex put their children right in the middle of this. He told their children that their mother was cheating on him. He told them all kinds of lies and then he even said that their 12-year-old made 10 different accounts on social media that called her out. These were nasty, downright dirty things to say period, things that a child should not have known at this age. But to help your child put them online, wow that's down and dirty. But if that wasn't enough he then makes his kid go and friend all of her friends, family, and co-workers so that everyone can see these lies.

He then lied and said his kid did this all on their own. First of all, if this was true, my first question is why does your 12-year-old have a social media account? Second, do you not check what your child is doing online? Third of all, give me a frigging break?? Are you actually trying to tell me your 12-year-old made all these accounts then figures out how to get hold of all of his mom's friends and co-workers? Really??

When I DM'd this child about how hurtful this was to his mother and they asked their dad while they were on a video call with me, who I was? This tells me they definitely did not friend me…Hello!!

But the real issue here is why would you put your child in the middle of this mess? Why would you allow them to be part of this garbage? What kind of parent are you? Does getting back at the other person at all costs mean that much to you that it also includes involving and hurting your children along the way? That is some messed up shit right there. 

Trust and believe your children will realize who the bad parent is. They will come to learn by their actions. You don't need to tell them anything, just sit back and watch karma take its place. I am not a perfect person and yes, there have been a few times I could not control myself while their dad refused to pay me, that I said some shit about him. Was it right? No, am I human, yes. My girls figured out who their father is. I didn't have to say a bad word about him. He revealed himself over and over and still does till this day. They see who he truly is.

These horrible acts will only scar your children, and they will carry this hurt with them their whole lives. Why would you want to do that? 

So today my friends remember, your children see and hear everything. They love you both, they don't want to pick sides so don't make them do that. If the other parent has hurt you, you deal with it, but don't make your children deal with it. Whatever happens, put them first, put their best interests first, and put their well-being first, you owe that to them. 

Yes, things sometimes don't work out but it has nothing to do with your children. Be the bigger person, because either way they will eventually see it for themselves.

"Be the change you want to see"

@TreadmillTreats 

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