Being stuck

Being stuck

All of us have been stuck at one point of our lives or another. Stuck in horrible relationships, stuck in a job we hate, stuck in a time of life that hurt us or stuck on people who hurt us. We are stuck in anger, stuck in fear, we all have been stuck at one point or another. The difference is some people stay stuck and others learn from their mistakes and move on.

I know this as I grew up with my grandmother who lived with us and she was stuck in hatred for my grandfather because he had cheated on her and left her. For 30 years she was stuck in that anger for him, same thing with my ex-mother-in-law she is stuck hating my ex father-in-law.
She has told the same story about how he did her wrong for the last 40 years, okay enough already! We can tell tell that story verbatim after hearing it every single time we talk to her.

Some people are stuck on unforgiveness towards others, I have a friend of mine that every time I see him he tells me the same story about how so-and-so did him wrong 30 years ago. Please get over it, I tell him, trust me that person is not thinking about you 30 years later and trust me when I say that, that person is getting on with their lives and not giving you a second thought. Yet you are taking all of your energy and putting it on hating that person or not forgiving that person or being angry towards that person and that person could care less about you.

The one thing I learned about forgiving and forgiveness was from my rapist, I learn that he moved on with his life, he could care less about what he did to me or how I was feeling or even the pain that he caused me. But every day because I was so angry at him, it was as if he was still doing this to me, still hurting me, it was as if he was still in my life because I chose to keep him there. I chose to keep the  anger and bitterness and be unforgiving and the only person it was hurting it was me. It wasn't until I forgive him that was I finally free, that he no longer held anything over me. Don't get it twisted, I forgave him for me and not for him and what he did, but that forgiveness set me free.

I was stuck in a verbally abusive marriage for 24 years because I was stuck in fear. I was afraid I couldn't make it, I was scared, how was I going to take care of my girls? What if's ruled my life.
Until I got to the point that I was so miserable that it didn't matter if "what if" happened or not, I was outta there.

I have seen karma first hand after thinking for so many years that my ex husband would never get it for all he did towards me.
But I realized he turned out to be just like his mother, he hates me with a passion, he is bitter and angry and every time he thinks of me, this is how he feels.
I could have been like this as I was the one wronged here, tortured by him and yet all I did was leave to be happy and this eats him up inside. I have forgiven him and have moved on in my incredible new life but he is the one who put himself in his own self induced karma.

We can't let fear, hatred and bitterness keep us stuck, we all have a choice. We can chose to forgive, to move on, to step out of our boxes or we can, like so many people in my life have done, keep ourselves stuck in this miserable place for years.

Think about it, does all that hatred, bitterness and unforgiveness make your life better? It is keeping you stuck? Are you replaying it over and over?
Let me make this simple for you if you had a baby and that baby was learning to walk would you tell him how stupid he was that he couldn't walk? Every time he tried do it, would you remind him of how he couldn't do it? Would you keep hashing it out time and time again? Of course not, that's crazy your saying now, because they are learning and they will fall down over and over but they keep trying to do it.

Yes, but that's us people, just like babies, we make mistakes, we fall down, we get hurt, but why are we letting these things keep us stuck? Why are afraid to get up again and try? Why aren't we like the children we use to be, fearless and ready to do it again and again even after we fall down and get hurt?

So today my friends remember, this is your life, you get one shot, you can change anything. You get to chose, you get to move on, start over, or let go. It is your choice, stop being stuck.

"Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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