How to live in a state of gratitude

How to live in a state of gratitude

I know better than anyone what it is like to grow up with a negative person in my life. For me, it was my grandmother who lived with us. She had a rough life, a child of a large family of immigrant parents, poor, and uneducated. She, later on, had her husband cheat on her and left her a single mom at a young age. All this was too much and she had a breakdown and ended up in an institution for a few years which left my mom to quit school and become the breadwinner.
When she returned she hated everyone and everything, all men were scum, nothing made her happy, everything was negative that came out of her mouth and here I was a little child having to see and deal with this every day.

Now they said you are like your upbringing or you are totally different, I chose at a young age to be different than her. I knew I never wanted to be that unhappy and miserable. So I consciously made that decision to be positive, to be grateful, to be happy.

See being in a state of gratitude is all in your mind, I could have easily been like my grandmother, I had enough shit happen to me in my life to qualify me. I chose to, even in my darkest times, I make myself look for the good. When my dad and dear friend died on the same day, when my mom died suddenly 3 years later and my verbally abusive marriage was killing me, I had hit rock bottom. I hated my life and I was miserable but this little voice kept saying find something, anything to be grateful for.

I have to be honest this was hard, what? My life was a mess, I wanted to die, I was filled with sorrow and grief and there was nothing I was grateful for. But then I thought I am grateful for my girls, even if they were treating me like shit. I was grateful for a roof over my head even if I had to share it with a man I hated and wanted to divorce. Little things like the food I ate, the car I drove, legs to walk on, eyes to see, things so many people do not have and I did.

Once you start practicing gratitude it starts to become easier. Every night I envisioned what I wanted in my life, I envisioned peace, a home filled with laughter and friends. My girls and I not having to walk on eggshells but truly be who God called us to be. I envisioned myself being able to support my girls, in a business I loved, a life filled with love and joy. Every morning I woke and gave thanks even if it was for just one thing.

They say if you do something for 30 days it becomes a habit and trust me when I tell you after the first month it did. Was it easy? Come on now nothing worth having is easy and if you follow me you know I never sugarcoat shit so no, it was hard as hell at times. I wanted to go back into my comfortable place hating life and being miserable as it was easier to blame others and not take responsibility for your own shit.

But I kept going, I kept holding on, I kept at it and it became a habit to be grateful. They say your mind is unstoppable, that your mind can do anything, and pull you through any situation, it is that strong. But it is you, that tiny voice we all have in our heads that tells us no, we like it here. No, we can't do this, it's too hard. That voice that in the middle of the night tells you, you are worthless, that you couldn't possibly do that, who do you think you are. That voice can be self-produced or it can be a ghost of your parents, your family, or your spouse, that voice can come in many forms but you chose to listen, to let it in.

We all have choices we make, to stay in abusive situations, to listen to the voices, or to follow the patterns we learned growing up but in the end, these are still our choices.
So here are three easy steps to start the change in your life.

1. Every day, find one thing to be grateful for, no matter how small focus on truly being grateful that you have that one thing.

2. Go to bed every night and envision the life you want. Doesn't matter if it seems unattainable, be in the moment as if it was happening right now.

3. Every time you backslide, remember steps one and two, stop take a deep breath and think of what you were grateful for that day, and envision the life you want.

That's it after 30 days you will reprogram your mind and from there you will be able to think in a better mind frame and be able to start making decisions to move towards that life.

So today my friends remember it's not hard to live in a state of gratitude, it's hard to reprogram your mind, stay focused and know the kind of life you are looking to have, but nothing is impossible. I have hit rock bottom not once but twice and I know nothing is impossible if you believe. You too can learn to live in a state of gratitude.

"Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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