When You Name Your Fears, It Puts You In Control

When You Name Your Fears, It Puts You In Control 

This is such a true statement. We all have fears, we are all afraid of something.

You should start by writing down your fears because when you name your fears it puts you in control of them. It doesn't seem so overwhelming, we can see them one by one and then come up with a plan to deal with them, one by one.

So many people, myself included have been stuck in a place of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of being rejected, fear of not being good enough. Fears we acquired from our childhood that we haven't dealt with. Voices we still hear that say you're not pretty enough, smart enough. You're never going to make it, all the voices that make us doubt ourselves.

I was stuck for 24 years in a verbally abusive marriage because of fear.

I was afraid I couldn't support my girls, and that I would never again have that lifestyle that I dreamed of as a poor girl. That he would do something to me, or take my girls away. My own mother didn't think I could make it without him, so what made me think I could? All these things, all this fear kept me stuck there, miserable. 

Are you in a job you hate?

A relationship that you know is not good for you?

Putting up with negative people that you know are toxic? 

What are you afraid of?

This is human, to be afraid but we must pull ourselves up and realize when that fear is being detrimental to our health. If it is, then it's time to leave, to move on, to disconnect from the things that no longer serve us.

So let's discuss what the benefits are if you act courageously. 

You will do the things you never thought you would.

You will move your life into a happier, peace-filled state.

And even if you do fail, you will learn valuable lessons for the next time.

I love boxing and I constantly make these references. If you are a boxer and you train and train for a fight and you get into the ring and get your ass handed to you, do you give up? Do you say nope I'm done, never again? 

No, you go back to the gym, you watch the video over and over, and see what you could have done better and what you did that was great. You keep at it until the next time when you come back into the ring more confident and then you kick some ass! But what you never do is give up! You never give up!

We are human, why is this so hard to grasp? 

We fail, we fall down, we make mistakes.

Hello! We all do this so then why is it so hard to admit? 

I put out all my failures, all my fuck ups, all my bad choices I use to have in men (see putting it out there in past tense) and trust me I have had plenty. I do this for the whole world to see and see I didn't die from embarrassment because I learned to laugh at myself, to give myself a break, and to know that I am human and shit happens to all of us. But what I won't do anymore is let fear rule my life. I will try it and if I fail it's okay, I will grab my boxer's mentality and get back up and try again.

How about these facts to make you feel better? When Thomas Edison was asked by a reporter, "How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?" Edison replied, "I didn't fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps."

How about that kind of failure and yet he didn't see it as a failure, just steps to get to where he needed to go? Now that is a boxer's mentality for sure. Here are some other "failures"

Colonel Sanders didn't start Kentucky Fried Chicken until he was 70! 

J.K. Rowling herself said she was the “biggest failure I knew” and credits a lot of her success to her failure.

Michael Jordan didn't make the basketball team.

Stephen King submitted “Carrie” 30 times. King was rejected 30 times.

All of these people and more didn't let fear of failure, fear of not being good enough, keep them stuck there, they persevered over and over, failure after failure to get to their dreams.

So today my friends remember, do not let fear keep you stuck, learn your lessons then move on. If you get knocked down, get back up. If you are miserable, change it, this is your life people! Live it large and in control. All you have to do is to start naming your fears so you can control them and as I say at the end of every blog….

"Be the change you want to see"

** I know this is a tough time of year so I will be putting this out there for all that needs it...I have been there and I know how dark it may seem especially during the Christmas season, there is help, and it will get better…

I am living proof of 

"This too shall pass"**

Please get help, call the

National Suicide Hotline.

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