Can I still have faith when I lost it all?

6That is truly the question... can you still have faith when you lost it all? I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason and for a lesson. Yesterday I asked for prayers I know that.if you ask God and two or more people pray about it ,it shall be done and so I thought it was a done deal as I walked in the mediators room yesterday for my divorce hearing. I told god I was going to just follow him because he knew where I was going and it would be ok. I know that this is my season, that all the pain I suffered from this verbally abusive marriage was soon to be over and I would get what I deserved after all didnt I have enough pain? So you could imagine my shock when I didnt get alimony for twenty four years of suffering not.olny that I got two hundred and fifty dollars a.month for two kids in shared custody. Really ?? This is what I get , why does he win yet again ? When I have been praying,going.to church,tithing, being a blessing to others have I not tried to be the best person ? Why would.this happen? I cried not for the end of my marriage, that I was truly happy it was over ,no I cried for yet another slap down, to me another put down "look I told you I.would drag you through the mud and win,you are still nothing" I could hear him say in my head. He had yet again won, until I realized that even without anything I stroll had my peace and joy that God gave back to me ,that maybe this is part of gods bigger plan for me that I cant see, maybe it was another test to see if I crumbled and gave up my faith on him. No I will not my destiny is to be a voice for.others,to write this book and let everyone know that even when you lose it all ,they cant take your joy,the cant take your faith,they cant take your heart anymore! I write every day about believing hell I even had it tattooed on my foot to remind me ,I will not ,will not ,can not stop believing!! This just means there are greater things out there for me this is just some more test for my testimony!.I am the Phoenix that will arise from the ashes to not just overcome but achieve greatness beyond his wildest dreams! That I will not forget where I came from and to know that karma will take effect, and that being peaceful and happy is the best revenge! Let me leave you with a quote from one of my favorite movies The Color Purple where after being beaten down for years whoopie goldberg finally finds the strength to leave him she puts her finger in his face and says " everything you done to me is already done to you ! Im poor, black, I may even be ugly but dear god I'm here and I'm free!!