Knowing your worth

Knowing your worth

For twenty four years I let a man's words effect my life, I let his words shape my life and my feelings. I let what he thought about me effect my every waking moment.

I so wanted to please him that I put my own feelings away to try to make him happy, at the expense of my own happiness. I would have done anything for him and almost killed myself trying. For twenty four years I cried because I couldn't figure out the magic potion to make this man happy.

How many times did I write in my journal, dear God, what am I doing wrong? Why can't I make him happy? Every thing I did was not right, I couldn't cook right, clean right. What was I stupid, I heard a million times.

By the end I knew his rant verbatim "How stupid are you? Do you know I am the bread winner in this house? You do nothing! Your useless! You would be nothing without me! You can't make it in your own, you'd be living in a box without me taking care of you"

Yes, hateful words that at one point brought me to my knees and cut me to my core. Words that I believed, that I thought were true and were me. I had forgotten the strong, smart, independent women I once was. The women who could do anything and wasn't afraid to try, when did I turn into this shell of a person? When did I turn over the power to someone else?

When I let someones words effect me?

But now I am no longer that scared, afraid, timid women anymore, No! I am strong, I know I can do anything. I know I no longer need anymore to take care of me.

I am good, I know my worth, I don't need validation from anyone because I love myself. Now the words no longer effect me and I am here to let others know that they can make a change. I am the voice of others who have no voice.

I am here to tell others that is not you, it is that person who is putting you down, issue. It is because they  are small and petty, that  they need to built themselves up by putting others down. They need the world to see a fake life, a perfect life, when actually  the inside is falling apart, so that they can feel good.

They need to be in control of everything and everyone and if they can't, then they make people feel worthless, just to lift themselves up.

You need to realize this has always been their problem not yours. It's their issue that had nothing to do with you or how hard you tried or how much you loved them, it would never be good enough for them, never.

You need to realize their words no longer effect you, say what you want to now,  but you can hang up, you can walk away.

So today my friends, I am here to tell you your worth. You can do this, you are strong, brave, beautiful and independent, you got this. This message is to let you know that they will never change and you need to feel sorry for them. They will never be filled with the peace and joy you feel in your life because nothing is ever enough for them. Know who you are now, let them know their words mean nothing to you anymore because now you know your worth.

"Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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