Missing my mom

Missing my mom...

Yesterday, July 15th was my mom's birthday, she was  my best friend and she was taken home way to early.
She was young and vibrant and full of energy and not a day goes by that I don't miss her smile.

Growing up I use to call her the meanest mom in the world because she was so strict. We had dinner together every night at 6 and unless you got hit by a bus, you better be there. This was our family time as she worked the night shift at a diner and my step dad worked days. This was the only time we all got to see each other and spend quality time together.

She worked 6 nights a week and on her one day off she helped my dad work on our beat up old farm house. She owned one pretty dress that she wore to every occasion because we were so poor and any extra went to me or the house.

I went for skating lessons, gymnastics and dance classes, I had the newest shoes or jeans, she made sure I never went without. To her it didn't matter that she only owned that one dress, she always put me first.

We spent every Tuesday night together as that was her only night off. We would window shopping, go see a movie and then go have hot chocolate and toasted pound cake with vanilla ice cream at the local Howard Johnsons restaurant.

Once a month we would go "away" We couldn't afford a real vacation so she would take me away over night.
There was a hotel about 40 minutes away that had an indoor pool. We would spend the night there, go out to dinner and I would get to swim to my hearts content.
It wasn't the quantity of time we spent together, it was the quality of time.

As I got older she helped me with my girls, she was a even better grandma than mother, if that was even possible. She became my little one's best friend as well.
She was always encouraging and kind, she had the biggest giving heart and was well loved by all.
She always had an open door policy at our house and at our dinner table. She had a United nations circle or friends that she loved and they loved her. I never heard anyone say a bad word about her as she was loved and respected by all.

When I lost her I realized that life is too short to be unhappy, her death gave me my life as it is today.
I found her voice in my ears telling me I could do it, that I was strong and independent, that nothing was impossible.

One day I pray I will leave the same kind of impression on my girls. That they would look back with love and respect to a mom who was their best friend.
Until that day I will keep trying  to live up to her legacy. Trying to be the amazing women, wife and mother she was. Trying to have her heart, her friendships and her open mindedness to people and the world around her. To have her work ethic, her love for her family and the willingness to survive hard times.
There is not a day that goes by that I don't miss you mom... Happy birthday.
You will forever be missed...I love you.

"Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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