No matter what, people will talk shit about you

No matter what, people will talk shit about you

The other day I did a vlog about the kids going back to school and in it, I spoke about people talking shit about them. You know, the haters out there that don't know you from Adam but will still talk shit about you anyway.

I spoke of my own childhood, I had a childhood sweetheart who I dated from the time I was 13 until I was 19. We never slept together as I wanted to stay a virgin until I was 18. But all through school everyone talked shit about me, they called me a whore and a slut because I was a tomboy and had a lot of guy friends. I remember coming home crying, thinking why? Why were they saying these things about me when they were clearly not true. But that gave me a toughness that I still carry today, a toughness I passed down to my girls. It gave me the ability to do my own thing, to dance to the beat of my own drummer because no matter what I did or didn't do, people will still talk shit. So it gave me the freedom not to care because I now knew the truth.

I raised my girls to be who they want to be, to own their uniqueness, to live their lives on their terms, and fuck what anyone has to say. This was a big lesson when recently my little one came to me and said her father said he was going to disown her if she got one more tattoo. (She already has a full sleeve, hello!)
I told her that even though it was not for me, I taught her to dance to the beat of her own drummer and how can I say anything now? She was doing exactly what I taught her. So she had to live in her truth, in her uniqueness of who she truly was, no matter what her father did or didn't do.

I did not just give lip service to them, I lived it. Growing up in a small country "redneck" town, I stood out because I danced to my own drummer. While everyone else wore shitkicker boots and flannel shirts, I came waltzing in looking like Joan Collins, straight out of Dynasty. (For you millennials, Google it, it was the most-watched nighttime drama on TV, back in the stone ages.)

I didn't care, here I came in with my hats with veils, my matching shoes, and pocketbooks, looking like I just came from Manhattan. Did everyone look at me like I was crazy? Did everyone have something to say about me? Oh hell yeah, but I no longer cared, they were talking shit about me anyway, l just gave them more to talk about.

Sometimes the horrible painful moments in your life teach you the biggest lessons. I passed these lessons on to them when 2 years ago we flew into New York for my cousins' wedding. His future bride told us it was formal....well her idea of formal and ours were completely different and we showed up in gowns with furs, looking extra as hell. When we got out of the car, the girls looked around and said "Mom we are extra, look no one else is dressed up"

I replied "Pull up your shoulders, hold your head up, and own your extraness! Own it!"

So today, remember that we should all own our extraness, our uniqueness, and our quirkiness, this is what makes you, you! This is what makes you special and different and just because a few people who don't have an open mind, say something, it means nothing. God made you and you are special, so own it. Being talked about made me stronger, made me not care what people said, made me want to be me more than ever.

Because I learned no matter what, true or not some people have nothing better to do than talk shit about you, so hell, give them something to talk about!

"Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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