Pulling yourself out of your rut

Pulling yourself out of your rut

If I am nothing in this blog, I am totally honest about everything in my life. I do this because so many of us lie about our lives. We lie about our happiness, we lie about who we are, what we have, and what we want the world to see.

I know because I was one of those people, everyone thought I had the "perfect" life, the perfect husband and family, when we were actually dysfunctional, a hot mess. So when I finally left and started a new life, I decided to be brutally honest to myself, to my friends and family and to my readers.

So today I will be honest and tell you that lately I haven't been so inspirational. I feel like I'm in a rut, I am doing all I am suppose to, I've burnt the candle at both ends. I've envisioned, I prayed, I stayed positive and yet nothing. How many of you feel this way? Your stuck in a rut with your tires spinning and yet your not getting anywhere?

Yes, we've all been there, the only difference between me and you is that I put my shit out there for the world to see, to criticize, but I do it to hopefully help one person that is also out there struggling.
Lately I've been in that rut, I can't seem to get it together, I have no get up and go, I'm on autopilot and yet I'm not feeling like I'm flying anywhere.

Maybe I am tired, maybe I am burnt out, maybe I am done with these bullshit men out there, maybe I've been waiting for so long and I am thinking is this going to ever happen?
I am human, I cry, I break down and guess what even though I write an inspirational blog every day, some days I'm not inspirational.
Some days I cry out, when God when? Some days I come home and throw myself into my bed, wanting the day to be over. Some days I wonder if this purpose is ever going to get where I want it to go.

The problem with the world or at least one of the problems, is how much we lie. How we never want to seem human, how we pretend we have it all together when clearly we don't.
I can't do that anymore and so because I write about everything in my life I must be honest about this as well.
We must be real, we must admit our faults, our shortcomings to learn the lessons we need to move on.
One of the biggest lessons I've learned in AA is first you must admit you have a problem, then you have to be real, and make a change.

You want me to inspire you? You want me to blow some sunshine up your ass?
Then here it goes, it's simple make a change, stop your bitching and whining. Do something about your situation. I am currently in therapy, I am going home because nothing soothes my soul like home, it's a place that gives me perceptive, it makes me grounded and shows me what is truly important in my life, my friends and family.

I am making a change, I am doing something about it, I am trying new things because I know how easy it is to slip down that slippery slope. One day turns into another and before you know it, your drinking to make yourself feel better, your doing drugs to mask the pain and then your down the rabbit hole, maybe to never return again. I know because this, because it has happened not just once to me but twice and I refuse to let it happen again.
I know that this rut won't last forever, but I need to do something now to change it, to make things happen.

So no matter what it may be, I am going to do that. For me that means more praying, more exercise, listening to more motivational speakers, writing more, throwing myself into work, into yoga and meditation. This works for me but whatever works for you, you should do that.

So today my friends I am hear to tell you that eventually the sun will dry out the rain and I'll be able to get the traction I need to pull myself out of the rut and you will too.
Don't give up, we are only human, don't be so hard on yourself, it will change if you change it.

"Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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