When you don't listen to the signs

When you don't listen to the signs

This is the third anniversary of a dear friend I went to school with. I remember hearing about  how she was murdered by her estranged husband that day. It was so sad, she was young and beautiful and always fun and now she was gone.

She was my second friend to die this way. I lost another friend years ago, even though she had a restraining order against her police officer boyfriend. He walked into a bar back home and killed her in front of everyone.

I was on my way to meet her that night but forgot something and turned around to get it and ended up running late. When I got there, she was gone. Again another beautiful, kind, funny women gone because of who she chose to date.

I will never stop trying to tell women to look for the signs, there are always signs!! The biggest one is inside of you, it's your gut feeling. You know something is off, yet you poo poo it away.

You justify it, you make excuses for him and his behavior or you're so afraid to be alone that you don't care as long as you have a man. Even when all the red flags are smacking you in the face.

These women weren't stupid by any means. No, we are women, this is our make up, we want to see the best in people. We want to try to help men change, we want to believe they can change, so much so that we turn a blind eye to things we rather not see.

There are always signs, he is too jealous, he wants you all to himself, he trys to get you away from your family and friends.
He thinks your screwing around, he always needs his ego stroked, he is narcissistic and is a control freak.

Are you listening? These are signs! Yes, in the beginning you think he's being romantic, that he wants to spend all his time with you, until you feel like he's strangling you. When you can't see your friends or family and your making excuses once again.
Here's another sign, are you changing to please him? He doesn't like the way you dress, your hairstyle, so you change. He doesn't like your loud laugh or the way you curse, so you change. Doing things you wouldn't ever do before? Again all signs, pay attention if something doesn't feel right, it's not!!

Don't think he will change his behavior. Oh, yes, he will change all right, for the worst, you can believe that. Or he might change because your catching on, and he will go back to the romantic, loving man you met but trust and believe that's only a ploy to suck you back in, so he can get contoll again.  Did you know that this vicious cycle happens 7 times to women before they are done for good? Or they are killed.
Cut your losses and run now before it escalates and a tragedy like this happens.

Here is  some starling statistics:

*3 women are killed each day because of domestic violence!

*One out of every 3 women will be abused at some point of her life.

*33% of people know a women who has been domestically abused.

We need to talk about this, we need to know the signs. We need to teach our girls to see the red flags right from the beginning but most of all we need to know our self worth. We need to love ourselves enough to not put up with this from the start!
Know that you are a beautiful, smart, kind women of God, that you are a blessing and should be treated like the diamond that you are, you are priceless!

So today my friends, reach out to someone you know, let them know your there for them, teach them the signs and let them know their worth.

In loving memory of Pammi Muller, you will be missed.

Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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