Taking A Break From Dating
Taking A Break From Dating
You know when you get multiple signs from the universe and you think maybe it's trying to tell you something?
Well, this is how this new book that I am starting to write, started. Every day on my daily phone calls to my girlfriends, I would tell them about yet another disastrous date I had gone on.
After a while, they all said "Damn girl you should write a book about all of your dating horror stories" and the rest was history.
Dating today is horrible and if you're a woman who is over a certain age, it is even worse out here. I was married for 24 years and in an abusive marriage. Back in the Stone Ages they didn't have online dating, you met the old-fashioned way through a friend, at a club, or organically at the supermarket. But with everyone's busy life things have changed and like it or not, welcome to the age of technology and online dating.
So I did it, and in the last 11 years of being single, I have had so many horrible dates that I lost count. I knew that I needed to step back. I was exhausted from dressing up to meet someone and it being yet another bust. I needed time to work on myself. To make sure that I was healthy enough to not make past mistakes with men.
The first thing I did was stop dating for a year. Instead, I started writing more, and working out with my girls. I started praying more and going back to church. I involved myself in things that I loved, the beach, my friends, and shooting pool. I learned to fill my life without a man. To heal myself so that in case the right one came along I was healed and ready.
Being back on the dating sites, unfortunately, has not changed. The men still ghost you, they text and never want to meet, and yes, they still send dick pics. This time around after my break I have done things differently. I talk on the phone a few times and that always gives you a feel for who they are. Texting to me is just a form of miscommunication, you can't get a vibe from texting especially if you don't even know if it's them or AI. I then decided just to meet for coffee dates, casual and fast. I can be out of there in 20 minutes or less and don't have to waste over an hour getting ready and a few hours sitting through a horrific date. I've learned these things from taking time away and realizing what I will and will not put up with.
So today my friends, remember sometimes the problem is you. Sometimes you need to step back and look deep inside yourself, to find yourself again. To learn what it is that made you run after love instead of loving yourself first. To learn that you're okay on your own and to give you the patience and the knowledge to put up boundaries. It is only then you can begin to be the change you want to see.
@TreadmillTreats
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The Blessing in Disguise.... revealed
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