The perfect breakup

The perfect breakup

I know some of you are thinking is she crazy? Who the hell has the perfect breakup?

Yes, I know we all have been through horrible breakups. Some of us have been cheated on, some like me, find out they have a whole other life, complete with wife and 4 girlfriends. Yes, you read that right, breakups like that knock the wind out of you as you never saw it coming.

Some breakups come when your sick and tired of that person, it has run it's course and it's time to move on but the other person may not feel that way. There are always some kind of bitterness from one person or another, and with bitterness comes anger and then comes name calling and hatred.

That is what usually happens with most people, after some time passes you are most likely to let it go and maybe even be friends with that person.
To be honest I am friends with all my ex's except for the ones who cheated on me. Yeah, I ain't got no use for them in my life, just being real here...if you didn't have enough respect for me while we were together I don't have any for you afterwards.

But this last relationship taught me something, hell it taught me a lot of things.
Who knew that at this age I would be learning so many lessons?

One of the biggest surprises was that we have such a respect and love for one another we don't want to do anything to hurt one another.
We both knew it would end, that this wasn't a forever thing from the start and we both agreed to enjoy every moment we had together.

I realized as we were getting closer and closer that I couldn't do this, this was too hard. I wanted a forever love, that was the main reason for ending my last relationship because it wasn't going where I wanted it and I had already wasted over a year there.

I didn't want to be sitting here a year from now, 5 years from now and then he decides now he wants children and I am left here too invested to move on.

I waited 24 years in a verbally abusive marriage, to afraid to leave. I was miserable and unhappy for at least 20 of those years and I refuse to waste time like that again.

I deserve a forever love, trust me after all the losers I've dated no one deserves it more than me.
I want to get married again I am wifey material, I want to find my soul mate, my best friend, my life partner.
And I can't keep blocking my own blessings dealing with relationships that aren't heading in that direction.

He was an amazing man and he could have been my forever man but he wants children and he should as he will be an incredible father as he is a man. But my time has come and gone and I am happy with my life as it is. I did my thing, raised two unbelievable daughters and now it's my time to work on me, my new career and travel and to do what makes me happy. It's okay to be selfish now, I did the right thing and gave my all to my girls but now they are grown.

So this breakup was different, we didn't want to break up this "almost perfect" relationship. We certainly don't want to hurt each other as we are still in love. But we both knew this would come and we are trying to deal with it like we did everything else in our relationship, with love and respect.

We both are apologizing, we both own our own shit, we both wish it could go on, we both love one another and realize this hurts and we don't want the other to hurt anymore then they already are.

That is true love my friends, when you will do anything for that person to not see them hurt, to do what's best for them and not yourself.

This relationship taught me lots of things but most of all to put someone's feelings above my own.
So I am here to tell you the breakup doesn't have to be so bitter. You loved that person in the beginning, no matter what you still have some kind of love for them (unless of course you were dating Mr. Con Artist, then all bets are off)

So today my friends, remember you get to chose, you get to be the bigger person, you hold the power in your hands to hurt someone or not.
I am choosing to walk away in love, the same love we had all through our time together. I am choosing respect as that is all he ever showed me and I am choosing to not hurt him anymore than is necessary as I love him that much.

So yes, there is a perfect breakup it's just up to you...

"Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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