You can't pick who you fall in love with Part 1

You can't pick who you fall in love with
Part 1

We've all been in love and if that is the case then it's fair to say at one time or another we have all picked the wrong ones.
We fell in love with someone who may not have been the best pick for us.

We also may have fallen for someone who may have wanted things we did not but that love, at that moment, triumph over all else, even good sense.

You know the saying "The heart wants what the heart wants" well that applies here. Sometimes your heart wants what it wants no matter how much you may know this is not what's good for you.

I was blessed or cursed whichever way you look at it, to have love in my life. I had a few men that I fell head over heels for and lost my mind over. Unfortunately for me I didn't have a good picker and that has gotten me in trouble with heartbreak.

I picked men who were selfish, broken and unattainable. I did have a few good ones mixed in there (very, very few) and then I go and meet a man who is everything I could ever want on my "checklist" of a perfect man.

So, what's the problem your asking? Only one BIG one that in the beginning we didn't talk about. He wants children, yeah big problem...
I have 2 beautiful grown girls and as much as I loved being a mother to them I don't want to do it again. I finally have my freedom especially since I divorced their dad and I am living my life large. No, starting over is not an option for me at this point.

He is younger and this is his dream and I understand his need to have children, all I ever thought about was having kids when I was young so I get it.

When we finally talked about the white elephant in the room we both cried as we knew this could not last forever. We should have saw the warning signs and ran when we had the chance.

But here comes the heart, wanting what it wants and you think I got this, we can do this and not get too involved or invested.
That's your head speaking, because your heart is  already full steam ahead not paying any mind to your head.

We tried to be adults about it, we spoke of our futures without each other in it. We talked about him getting married and having kids and me finding my forever man, which all our friends thought was off the wall. But we knew this was not going to be forever so why not be real.

This love affair was like a fairy tale to me. I had never had a man treat me so good, tell me how the others were fools to let me go. A man that was there for me in good times and bad, who actually stepped up, who showed his actions not just talked a good game like the others.

This man was teaching me lessons of how a real man should treat a women, something I had long forgotten.
I was teaching him how to compromise and how a women should treat the man she loves. These were lessons we obviously need to learn and that was the lies I told my mind, that we were only here for the lessons and then we could move on.

And so the heart won out...
I gave in and gave all, deciding that love was worth the pain. I made a choice to live in this moment and love large for as much time as we had together.

Because the heart wants what the heart wants and you can't pick who you fall in love with...

Stay tuned for part 2 tomorrow....

"Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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