April Is Sexual Awareness Month

April Is Sexual Awareness Month 

Since this is near and dear to my heart and with the conviction of Bill Cosby, R Kelly, Diddy, and many others who are finally getting what is coming for them, I wanted to give everybody some staggering facts about sexual abuse.

*Approximately OLNY 30% of sexual assault cases are reported to authorities.

* 962,939 cases of child sexual abuse were reported in 2012. 

* On average, there are 321,500 victims (age 12 or older) of rape and sexual assault each year in the United States. 

*Ages 12-34 are the highest risk years for rape and sexual assault.

*As of 1998, an estimated 17.7 million American women had been victims of attempted or completed rape.

These are some chilling statistics and this is happening each and every day in our country. Hell, the man running our country is also a convicted assaulter, so there's that. They say that this has or will happen to someone you know and love, how eye-opening is that?

I have always been a huge advocate of speaking out about rape and I was even blessed to be part of a documentary called This is rape. We were trying to open people's eyes about what the "victims" look like, what we go through, and how years later, this still affects our lives.

With Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, R. Kelly, Diddy, and even Trump getting exposed we are finally seeing some type of conversation about this terrible crime. While I was doing this documentary, I've come to realize that this does not only happen to women, it happens to children, to men, to everyone, no matter of age, race, demographics, or religion, it affects everyone.

I was also shocked to realize that most people don't tell until later on in their lives and only 30% of victims tell at all.

What?? We should be outraged at that fact alone and why they aren't speaking out.

I remember someone asking 

"Well, why didn't these women step up sooner? How can you believe them 30 years later?" 

I can tell you from personal experience that I thought it was my fault. I thought because I knew him. After all, I took a ride with him and smoked a joint with him, so it was somehow my fault. That when I said no, when I screamed no, when I kicked and scratched at him, screaming NO! and he still raped me that even then, it was somehow my fault.

Society makes us feel that way, they say well he didn't jump out from a dark alley, so you must have dressed a certain way, or said something for him to think it was okay. What did you do to turn him on? 

We don't think we will ever get justice and if we are lucky enough to get to court, we are then dragged through the mud, our sexual history, and our lives are taken apart and analyzed to victimize us yet again.

Maybe it was a family member and you are afraid of what it will do to your family. It might be a father, an uncle, or grandfather and you're afraid of the things they told you they would do to you or your family. Maybe these women who Bill Cosby or R. Kelly abused didn't think anyone would believe them over a well-loved celebrity.

There are so many reasons that we are afraid to speak up but to victimize us again makes you as bad as the perpetrators. This is about having the courage to step forward knowing people will judge you for a crime you had nothing to do with. Letting the world into our pain, to rip off that band-aid that is sometimes holding us together, to expose ourselves yet again. To relive the memories that haunt us when we sleep and bring them out into the daylight to haunt us there as well.

Yes, there are many reasons we keep silent but keeping silent only makes more victims. Most abusers, abuse over and over again and to more than one person. If you don't tell, it will happen to another person, guaranteed.

We need to talk about this, we need to post about it on social media, we need to make more documentaries, and talk about it in schools, in our churches, and at the dinner table. It needs to come out of the dark and we need to shine a bright light on it.

Maybe just maybe with more and more convictions of famous people, we will get the ball rolling not just on rich, famous, privileged men out there doing this but to the everyday Joe's who are preying on our children, destroying lives out here each and every day.

So today my friends please don't victim blame. Don't judge us unless you have walked in our shoes. We are still hurting, we are still in pain even though many years have passed. We need to know who the victims are and clearly know who the predator is. 

Speak out, get help, contact me and I will put you in contact with some amazing groups to help you heal. 

Let your voice be heard!

All of our voices together can and will change this...

"Be the change you want to see"

@TreadmillTreats