Learning About Relationships

Learning About Relationships

I think the more I've been single the more I am learning about relationships. I am learning what I am willing to put up with and what I will not put up with.

The more comfortable you are with being alone, the more you learn. I remember when I first got divorced and my self-esteem was not good, I felt like I had to have a man to be whole. I had always been in relationships my whole life and I needed a man. Even a bad man, or a shitty man. 

I was willing to put up with crap as long as I wasn't alone. 

But after I kept picking the same type of men, narcissistic, controlling, passive-aggressive, jealous men I realized I was the main denominator. It was me, I was broken. It wasn't that there were all these shitty men out here, I was picking shitty men, this was a me issue. So I went back to therapy. I learned the reasons why I did this. I wasn't completely healed from years of an abusive marriage. I still had that mindset, that I wasn't worthy, that I needed a man, all of these lies that I allowed to take up space in my head. 

But then I met a good man because I was healthy. I knew how good he treated me, and how I wanted to be treated. He taught me the lessons I needed. He gave me back faith in men and faith in myself to pick a good man. I knew that from this point on I would never allow another man to treat me badly. I'm not here to fix anyone, I am too old for that. I did my work on myself, you have better done the work on yourself. 

After this relationship, I took some years off to know myself again. To heal, to grow, and to be alone, to learn to be alone and be okay with it. I've learned so many things during this time. I don't need a man, I would like one but I definitely don't need one. I will never put up with lying, cheating, or any kind of disrespect. I am okay with being alone so unless you bring something amazing to the table besides your dick, I am okay to eat alone.

So today my friends remember, you need to learn about relationships. You need to be alone and be okay with it. You need to see the signs and get help

We all think because we left the abusive relationship that it's over. But it's not, you carry around scars, hurt, and even PTSD from bad relationships. You need to fix yourself, it's true what they say, hurt people, hurt people. Be whole, know what you will allow or not, and be willing to walk away.

Trust me, being alone isn't so bad, it's definitely better than being in a shitty relationship. Learn about relationships before jumping into the next one.

“Be the change you want to see”

@TreadmillTreats

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