I need help

I need help

How many of us need help? But how many of us are too embarrassed to ask, how many of us have too big of an ego to admit to that? Yes, there are many people who need help but will never get it because they refuse to admit they have a problem. The one thing about me and this blog is that I put it all out there, the good, the bad, and yes, even the really ugly. I will tell you when I screwed up, and I will put it out there when I fall on my face, I am not afraid of failure as this makes me learn lessons that make me grow as a person and that I may pass on to others.

I need a lot of help with all areas of my life starting with the men I pick! Oh lord help me with this one!
I keep picking the same kind of men, men everyone else thinks are wonderful and they are to a point, but it's really just a show to the world. Look at me, see what a great guy I am, everyone loves me and everyone says so...so you must be the crazy one to think I am not perfect.

These men are narcissists, who have self-esteem issues, and are controlling, judgmental, and jealous. Men who need constant smoke blowing up their ass to feel worthy, passive-aggressive men, men with this "Mr. Nice guy" on the outside but inside they have all of these issues that no one sees but the person who has to deal with them on a daily basis. Yet somehow over and over and over I continue to pick these men, I am like a magnet to them and I am a pleaser so I want to make people happy even if it's at my own expense and they know this. So I end up trying to fix them or worst yet "fix" myself to please them but they will never be happy and I end up miserable as well.

Hey, this is not the only issue I have....really? You say.
No, I have lasting effects from being in a verbally abusive marriage for 24 years, I have issues with men telling me what I can and cannot do and I am fast to jump on that. I am quick to say I got this, I don't need help because I never want to be dependent on a man again. I need help in doing too much, in not knowing how to say no to people.

I need help with my children, as I want to make sure they know their self-worth, I build them up as their father is tearing them down. I am a single mom trying to do it all.

I need help in my faith as sometimes I waver, I question, I am impatient, and I ask when and why God all the time.

I need help in my business to work smarter, not harder, to believe I can do it, grow it larger, and manage my finances.

Yes, I am just like so many of you, filled with doubt and issues, but I just choose to share my shit with thousands of readers on a daily basis, now how scary is that? All you need to do is to admit it to yourselves, doesn't seem so scary now does it?

I know from having a drug and alcohol problem, the first step is to admit you have one.
You can't change what you don't admit to.
This is why I go to church, this is why I fast, this is why I pray because I need help. I can not do this on my own and I am not too prideful to admit that. I am also not prideful to admit I screwed up, over and over, I have no ego left because for me ego equals Edging God Out and I can't be too prideful not to ask for help, I know where that has gotten me in the past. See I know what the bottom feels like since I've been there a few times and I don't want to keep going back, so this is why I do what I do.

So today my friends remember don't be ashamed to ask for help, put your pride away, and let go of your ego, you need help. It's okay we all need help, no one is perfect even though many people try to pretend they are.
Find something, a religion, church, a temple, a meeting,
a therapist, whatever it is that will get you through and helps you because you can do it...anything is possible if you believe.

"Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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