Our lasting baggage

Hump day Treadmill Treats

Our lasting baggage

This is the baggage we bring with us from one relationship to another. We all have baggage even if you chose not to admit it, you have it.

It can be fear of commitment, you involved in relationship after relationship until the other person wants to get more committed and then you run.

It can be fear of getting hurt again, this is a big one with many of my friends, they've been lied to and or cheated on so many times they rather shut down completely than trust again.

There is fear of being told what to do, being in another controlling relationship.
Hi, over here, I have my hand raised for this one, yes, I know this is my baggage and try as I may, it's a hard one to unpack.

There is a fear of trust, you've been lied to and cheated on over and over, you keep picking losers and you keep bringing this fear with you.

Drama is a big baggage some people bring into every relationship, they are not happy unless they are fighting or there is drama going on and it's there in every single  relationship they are in.

Never admitting that you have a problem ohhhh...big one here!
Look back over your history, do you see patterns? Is it the same things people have said to you over and over yet your still can't figure out what keeps going wrong in all of your relationships? The one key factor is...you!!

Yes, these are all baggage we carry with us and for alot of you out there, you hop into and out of relationship after relationship without ever unpacking, without looking at the issues and trying to fix them.

Years ago my issues was commitment, I was raped and I it carried over into getting too close to people, once a man said he loved me or wanted more I ran...fast.

I got past that (therapy helped tremendously) after my marriage I waited 2 years before I started dating.

I needed to unpack and see what was I carrying with me.
I needed to own my own issues and forgive him of his.
I couldn't jump from the pot to the the frying pan again. I needed to learn lessons and you can't do that while your under someone else. (Yes, I just said that!)

Do I have issues still? Yes, funny that I don't have trust issues, you would think I would after Mr.Con Artist and the rest of my bad mistakes but I don't.
I have my issues with control and being independent, that,
I got this mentality, I got going on. Like if I depend on anyone some how I will be giving up a part of myself.

I know it's a issue, see the first step of any recovery is admitting you have a problem. Yeah, I learned that in recovery and therapy too and it's true you must admit you have a problem, it is only then you can work on it and change it.

So I am trying, I see my issues and I am trying to change them, I refuse to bring old baggage into the future.

Yes, I could be like a lot of my girlfriends who close off their hearts to love, but love is life, it is what makes life worth living and even though I know I can and probably will, have my heart broken again, I am willing to take the chance because otherwise life wouldn't be worth living for me.

Look we all have our issues, you are too critical, your too unbending, you hurt people with your words, you think it's okay to say it's a joke and think it makes it okay. You're  narcissistic or controlling, you fight about everything, nothing is ever good enough for you, you have a roaming eye, you lie, your never happy....

Oh.. I know that you see yourself in this list, dont lie.
Whatever the issue, pick yours and then work on it. We are all not perfect, we all have issues, we are human and the amazing part of being human is once we own our issues, we have the ability to change them. Imagine that? We can change...what a concept...

So today my friends remember don't keep carrying your dirty issues from one relationship to another, don't keep saying it's them not me every time it goes wrong.

Don't keep sidestepping your own issues, own them, empty out that baggage, be brutally honest and say this was mine, this was mine, this was theirs. Go through it all and then take all of your dirty laundry and clean yourself off, deal with it all before you repack that bag and go off to your next relationship, believe me it will be the best thing you've ever done.

"Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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