My life online

My life online

If you read my blog you know that I am brutally honest. You know that I always say I'm not Willy Wonka, I don't sugar coat shit!

Since I left my verbally abusive marriage 7 years ago, I swore I would be honest about everything in my life.
I had lied about so many things back then that I never wanted to lie again.

I started this blog so that I could help others, so they could see my journey, the good, the bad and the ugly. I wasn't going to hide any of it.

If you follow me you know that it took me a long time to get to this place of peace and joy. I had to learn a lot of lessons, I had to unpack my suitcase that was full of shit, which included the fact that I had to forgive my ex husband for his abusive. I also had to forgive myself for allowing it and to own the other shit I did in my marriage.

Along this journey, I found God, I started to volunteer, I give back and I help others. I learned lessons in the men I've picked...well I'm still learning that one.  Being open to learning has made so many other things change in my new life as well.

When you look at me most people think I got it all together. That I learned my lessons and owned my shit and yes, for the most part I have. I realized that I looked for and learned more lessons in the last seven years than in my whole life. So that is a good thing, I've learned that change is a good thing and not something that I feared for so many years before.

And yes, for the most part I do have it together. I left my abusive marriage, I walked away with close to nothing. I started my own business from nothing to be able to take care of myself and my girls.
I bought my own home and gutted it to the rafters and rebuilt it. I did it all by myself and yes, I am proud of how far I've come.

But to be truly honest with myself I had to admit that not everything was "perfect" in my life.
One of the things I realized is that I had triggers, especially in relationships. Things men in other relationships I had said about me. That I jumped off the handle, that I jumped to conclusions too fast.
Now granted two of them were narrostic and so I thought yeah right but when the Prince said the same thing, I realized the common denominator was me! (To know who the Prince is you'll have to read my past blogs)

So I thought this has to be an issue since it keeps coming up and if I want to be in a healthy relationship one day  then I need to be healthy. In order to be healthy you must get help and in order to get help you must admit you have a problem. First step in AA... admit you have a problem or in my case that I am the problem.

So with that said I reached out to Women in Distress, one of the biggest help center for women in domestic violence situations in south Florida.

I figured they better than anyone could help me. I am big on counseling, I was in counseling for years after I was raped, I had my girls in counseling for their issues with their dad and his abusive behavior. I went to AA meetings for years for my addiction, so I truly know the benefits of talking to a mental health professional.

So many people have a sigma about mental health and professional help as if when we are sick we don't go see a doctor, well sometimes our minds are sick. They are poisoned with our parents teachings, with sexual assault, abuse or with rape. With drug or alcohol addiction that stems from something else.
With low self esteem, with abusive relationships with all kinds of crap we stick up there so why wouldn't we get help for that?

We need to let go of the stereotypes and do what we need to do to get better, be healthy and not hurt others. Because we all know hurt people hurt people...

So today my friends I hope you will follow me on this new journey. I will be blogging about what I learn about myself and what I can do to change these behaviors. We all have room for improvement, for change, for starting over. It's never too late, your never too old, so start today reach out, get help, make a change and like I say at the end of every blog....
"Be the change you want to see"

CALL US
The national Domestic violence Hotline

Our advocates are available 24/7 at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) in more than 200 languages. All calls are free and confidential.

In south Florida Women in distress

+1 954-760-9800

 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

**Coming soon my latest book:
The blessing in disguise.... revealed**

***Now available***
My book The blessing in Disguise
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Http://www.treadmilltreats.com

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