When you're at the end of your rope, tie a knot in that bitch and hold on

When you're at the end of your rope, tie a knot in that bitch and hold on.

 So this week I wrote about living with a narcissist and then I also wrote about the anniversary of my freedom. Both things that I know a lot about and that I've personally gone through.

So I decided to write this blog today because I know, especially during this pandemic, how many people are stuck with their abusive partners, and how hard this time has been for so many people being with that person who constantly puts you down, who makes you feel less than, and who abuses you day after day. And with this pandemic for so many people, it's now happening 24 hours A-day, seven days a week, which can truly be hell on earth.

 

I know that many people may be thinking that you might be at your breaking point. This may literally be the straw that broke the camel's back, where you are  saying, I am done. This is why I'm writing this blog, it's for you out there who might be reading it saying I can't do this anymore, who might be saying I don't wanna be here, I want out.

For those of you thinking I want to die, I want to end it all because I can't go on like this one more day.

I know what it's like to get to that point of not caring about yourself, not even caring about the fact that you would be leaving your children because you're so hurt and broken. I know what it feels like to wake up day after day and hate your life. To cry yourself to sleep every night filled with dread, shame and regrets because you're still there, because you don't have the courage to leave.

This blog is for you, I have a message for you, and I need you to hear this, there will be better times. I know there right now that you can't possibly imagine that but it's true. When I was so low that I cried myself to sleep every night and I wanted my life to end, even to the point of trying to end my own life. I never thought at that moment, that this would be the life that I would have now.

I couldn't see that far in the future because I was so stuck in that dark place, I couldn't see 5' ahead of me but I'm telling you don't give up, it's there, the life you want is right there. If you just hold on, if you just start to change your mindset, if you start to envision the life you want for yourself, it is possible, I promise you.

But you need to change, you need to start doing something to help yourself. And I know it won't be easy but you have to do it, if for nothing else do it for your children who will be left to be raised by that abusive partner if you're not there. For your family who will be left with a lifetime of guilt that they couldn't do more, grab onto that and do something to change.

Start a gratitude journal, write one thing a day about what you are grateful for. That you woke up maybe that's too hard at first, so put your children, your parents, your best friend. Then hold on to that and add to it, think about your health, your children's health, that you have a home and food. Start with the basics but each and every day start with gratitude in your heart, you won't believe how that little thing will begin to change you.

Tomorrow I will continue with the rest of my tips for change, but I will leave you for today with this, hold on, don't give up, after every storm there is the sun, every single one. So the sun is out there and it's coming, it will be there for you, if you just hold on.

So today my friends remember, there is a life waiting for you, an amazing, incredible life out here just waiting for you past your fear but you'll never get to it if you give up now. You are stronger than you think, your children and families need you, so please don't give up. As my mother used to say all the time even when it didn't feel like it at the moment… This too shall pass. 

I know you feel like you're at the end of your rope but tie a knot at the end of that bitch and hold on, change is coming.

"Be the change you want to see"

 

"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

**Now released my latest book**

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