Changing partners to avoid changing yourself

Changing partners to avoid changing yourself 

I know that I have been guilty of this. I was in relationships almost my whole life. There have only been two times in my life that I was single. The first time was after I got clean because I obviously had a lot of issues I needed to deal with. The second time was after the Prince, when I realized yet again that I needed to work on myself and the issues that I didn't fix the first time.

These times alone taught me that I needed to fix and own my shit. You can't keep jumping from one relationship to another without ever unpacking your shit. You just keep bringing the same shit from one relationship to another because the problem is still there because the problem is you.

The reason you keep picking the same type of person is because you haven't dealt with what's wrong with you. Yet you keep blaming every man or woman out there. They are not broken, you are broken but you won't admit that. That is the reason you keep letting people treat you that way.

Both times while I was single, I went back to therapy. I wrote a lot, and I spent time with myself and with the people I love. I invested in myself and found out why I kept letting these men into my life. I dug deep into my past to find out what hurts I never healed and how this has affected my present choices.

The first thing they teach you in AA is that you first must admit you have a problem before you can fix it. And you can't do that while you're jumping from one person to another. That hole you have in your heart will never be filled. No amount of men, food, shopping, booze, or drugs will ever be enough to fill that hole. The hurt needs to be fixed first.

So today, my friends, I am here to tell you that you must first admit you have a problem. Figure out why you chose these people again and again. Take some time out to unpack, to dig deep on what's really the problem within you. It is only then that you will be healthy and whole. It is then that you will not allow people to treat you that way. You need to find yourself worth. It is only when you stop changing partners to avoid changing yourself that you will finally find yourself.

"Be the change you want to see"

@TreadmillTreats