My Life Online

My Life Online

If you read my blog, you know that I am brutally honest. I always say that I'm not Willy Wonka, I don't sugar coat shit!

Since I left my verbally abusive marriage 13 years ago, I swore I would be honest about everything in my life. I had lied about so many things back then that I never wanted to lie again.

I started this blog so that I could help others, so they could see my journey. Not just the good, but the bad and even the ugly. I wasn't going to hide any of it. If you follow me, you know that it took me a long time to get to this place of peace and joy. 

I had to learn a lot of lessons. I had to unpack my suitcase that was full of shit, which included the fact that I had to learn to forgive my ex husband for his abuse. I learned that I also had to forgive myself for allowing it and to own the other shit I did in my marriage.

Along this journey, I found God. I started to volunteer, I decided to give back and to help others. I learned lessons from the men I've picked...well, I'm still learning that one. I have to tell you that being open to learning has made so many other things change in my new life as well.

You can never tell what someone is going through. When people look at me, most people think I got it all together. That I learned my lessons and owned my shit and yes, for the most part I have. But no one has it "all together" So many people are suffering in silence looking "good" doing it.

I realized that I had to look for the lessons and because of that, I've learned more lessons in the last 13 years than in my whole life. I've learned that change is a good thing and not something that I feared for so many years before.

And yes, for the most part I do have it together. I left my abusive marriage, I walked away with close to nothing. I started my own business from nothing to be able to take care of myself and my girls.

I bought my own home and gutted it to the rafters and rebuilt it. I did it all by myself and yes, I am proud of how far I've come. But to be truly honest with myself, I had to admit that not everything was "perfect" in my life.

Years ago one of the things I realized is that I had triggers, especially in relationships. Things that men in other relationships had said about me. That I jumped off the handle, that I jumped to conclusions too fast. Now granted two of them were narcissistic and so I thought yeah right but when the Prince came along and said the same thing, I realized the common denominator was me! And so I got the help that I needed to change. 

Not that long ago I had been having triggers with business as well and so I thought this has to be an issue since it keeps coming up. If I want to be in a healthy relationship one day and be healthy in my head then I need to get help. In order to be healthy you must get help and in order to get help you must first admit you have a problem. 

This is the first step in AA... admit you have a problem or in my case that I am the problem.

So with that said I reached out both times to a therapist.

I figured they could help me better than trying and failing to do this on my own. 

I am big on counseling, I was in counseling for years after I was raped. I had my girls in counseling for their issues with their dad and his abusive behavior. I went to AA meetings for years for my addiction, so I truly know the benefits of talking to a mental health professional.

So many people have a stigma about mental health and professional help as if when we are sick we don't go see a doctor. Well sometimes our minds are sick. They are poisoned with abusive parents and their teachings. It may be sick because of sexual assault, abuse or with rape. Maybe it's with drug or alcohol addiction that stems from something else. 

It may be from low self esteem, with abusive relationships, or with all kinds of crap we stick up there and try not to think about, so why wouldn't we get help for that?

We need to let go of the stereotypes and do what we need to do to get better. Do what you need to do to be healthy and not hurt others. Because we all know hurt people hurt people.

So today my friends, we all have room for improvement, for change, and for starting over. It's never too late, you're never too old, so start today, reach out, get help. 

I have blogged about what I learned, about myself and what I did to change these behaviors. If you want to know what it took to get to be the change you want to see, check out my blogs.

@TreadmillTreats 

Check out my daily blogs @ https://treadmilltreats.blogspot.com/?m=1

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**Now released my latest book**

The Blessing in Disguise.... revealed

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My 1st book The blessing in Disguise 

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