Letting your past go

Letting your past go

It takes courage to let things go, your past, things that wounded you, things that made you bleed, when you suffered loss, even people who broke your heart. You have to have faith to know what is in front of you is greater than what is behind you.

You must forgive or you cannot move on. Forgive yourself, forgive your parents, forgive the people who hurt you. Even if they cheated you, if they lied to you, if they did the most unimaginable things to you, you must forgive. Nelson Mandela forgave his captors for the years he suffered in prison. Eli Weisel forgave the Natzis for keeping him in the worst conditions, and for watching them kill his family and friends, yet he forgave.

You think forgiving means you accept what they did, that you are giving them a free past.
But forgiveness is for you, not them, it is for you. For without forgiveness, you cannot move on, without forgiveness you will never be whole again. Your past will keep bringing you down, your unforgiveness will make you bitter and angry, and it will keep you stuck where you are.

You need to let go of your past in order to move on. The longer you live the more people will offend you, and they will hurt you, this is life, but you must let it go, let go of the past hurts to keep moving forward. Your past was there not to keep you stuck but to teach you lessons to get to the next level. Most people don't get the lessons, they don't see the pain in this way. They think the pain, and the hurt happened because of something they did, because they are cursed, because they deserved it. They do not look at it as a lesson, and sometimes as a blessing.

Here's the thing, let's look at it this way, when we went to school, we were taught lessons. If we learned the lessons we get to move on, and we go to the next level. If we don't, we are stuck in the same grade until we get it right. But you will not move on, you will not graduate if you don't learn the lessons. Life is the same way, you must learn the lessons before you will move on. That means letting go, forgiving, and letting go of the hurt, the anger, and the bitterness, there is no other way to move on.

The decision is all yours and yours alone. You need to do this to make you whole. Trust and believe, if you don't it will keep coming up in your life. Even decades later, it will still be there.
I remember years after my rape, I had gone to consulting, I thought I was good, and I even volunteered in a rape crisis center, hey, I was good, right?

Yet one day, a beautiful spring day, a day when I felt wonderful. I felt pretty, the top was off my car and the music was blasting and I was loving my life at that moment.
When I saw him, my rapist coming out of a store, laughing, and in a split second my whole demeanor changed from happiness and joy to anger and hatred, just like that. I wanted to run him over, I cursed him, and I hated him with every fiber of my soul. It was at that very moment when I realized that my hatred for him, my unforgiveness, was my own prison. He moved on, he wasn't thinking of me or what he had done to my life. Yet he still had control over me because I let it. I knew I could not step into my future unless I let go of my past. I had to forgive to let go of all of that to really be healed. It was at that moment I forgave him, not for him but for me. I was finally free because I let myself be free, I let go of my past.

So today my friends remember, a new life comes from a new mind. You cannot let the rumors, the hurt, and the pain hold you back. You cannot let the same old shit drag you down another year.
You can choose to be bitter or be better, don't just go through it, grow through it.
And as I say at the end of every blog...
"Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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