A letter to my mom

A letter to my mom

Dear Mom,

Today is Mother's day and I cry because you are not here.
I cry because I cannot bring you the flowers that you loved, not just because it is Mother's day but because you loved them every Friday when I brought them to you. I remember how you told your friends what a good daughter I was, that I listened to your stories about not bringing flowers to someone's grave when they could not smell them.

I wish you could see my girls, your grandchildren and how they turned out to be amazing young women who you would be so proud of.
I wish you were here to see how I made my own way, dispite all the challenges I've faced. To see what you taught me work every day. To be a hard worker, to have compassion for others, to see people for their souls, to open your heart and your doors for people who are different.

I wish I could tell you how many times I go to pick up the phone to tell you this or ask you that.
I wish I could tell you thank you for always putting me first, for showing me how to be a strong, independent women and to teach my girls the same thing.

I know I don't have to feel sad or guilty because I always told you how I felt.
I always gave you cards and letters not just on special occasions when you are "supposed to" but all the time, on a Tuesday or a Sunday just because I wanted you to know what was in my heart.

I wanted you to know how that even though we were poor, you gave me things money could never buy like integrity, a caring heart, a work ethic and so many other incredible qualities that made me who I am today.

I hope one day to be half the mother you were, as you were the best. You weren't perfect but you did the best with what was taught to you and what you've learned and you taught me that as well. When you know better, you do better as Maya Angelou once said. I am trying to do better and hopefully my girls will learn from my mistakes as well.

I miss our daily talks, I miss our shopping, mommy and me days, I miss laying on your bed watching TV together. I miss your laugh and your big heart. I miss the way you loved my girls and everyone in your life. I miss your generosity, always thinking of someone else on buy one get one free days. I miss yard saleing with you laughing when we got a bargain. I miss your can do attitude, saying just because we are women, it doesn't matter, we got this.
That you weren't afraid to try something new like getting your high school diploma and then graduating from college at 50!
Or anything else you would try to tackle, you never took no for an answer.

I wish I could tell you thank you for making me the women and the mom I now am.
But I know you are looking down on us, you are keeping an eye on us and letting us know you are still here with us. Like yesterday when we saw that butterfly and then saw everything that had butterflies on them, to remind us that your here.

I love you mom and there is not a day that goes by that I am not missing you.
Until we meet again I will constantly try to be a good women like your were and try to make you proud. Thank you for being such an amazing women and mother.....

Happy Mother's day in heaven mom...

"Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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