Why Does It Hurt So Much?

Why does it hurt so much?

I remember writing this blog and I am reposting it because I think it can help someone who, at this moment, is feeling pain like this. Pain that you think will never go away but it does, I promise you. I know at that moment when you don't think you can make it past the pain. When you're asking yourself why does it hurt so much? Why can't my heart know what my mind already knows? Why can't I realize that this will never work?

I know that these are the questions that so many women have asked or have said.

That we are too different, that the things that broke us up in the first place are the same things that are still there today. That yes, he is the sweetest, kindness, funniest man I've ever known. That it was love at first sight since we were thirteen years old, and that he's treated me better than anyone I've ever met. That he loves me for me. That my heart soars when I see him or when I hear his voice. That I can talk to him for hours and never run out of things to say. That when we touch, when he holds me in his arms my world is okay, I am safe. My heart soars and bursts with love for this man. When he kisses me I forget the whole world and I only see the love in his eyes for me.

Yet my heart aches knowing we can't be together. Fearing that I will never find another love that touches me like his.

This love, that feels like I known him for not just this lifetime but many lifetimes. It feels like our souls are connected forever.

This pain is so deep that it sometimes takes my breath away.

I know that he will never fit into my world and I can no longer go back to his and yet....there is undeniably force when we are together, the room vibrates. When we are looking at each other, there is no mistaking it.

We both feel the love, and we both feel the pain of being apart and yet we cannot change it anymore than we can change who we are and we know it. That fact breaks our hearts each and every time but we keep coming back to each other, like a moth to a flame. It is because the heart wants what the heart wants, even if the brain is telling it otherwise. Yes, there will always be some pain when you think back but there will also be change. There will be lessons, there will be love again if you are open. The pain will not always be there even though it feels like it will never stop while you're in it. So why does it hurt so much? Because you need to learn the lessons in order to grow and move on. Remember only you can be the change you want to see.

@TreadmillTreats

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