Life is about growth and change

Life is about growth and change

I remember when I was married and miserable but fear kept me stuck there. For 24 years I was stuck because I feared change. So many of us are stuck by fear, in horrible marriages, in dead-end jobs, with friends that keep us down or families that are toxic.

Change is scary that we would rather die than change. Trust and believe, you are killing yourself, a slow painful death by staying there and I'm telling you that things will never change unless you change them. When enough was finally enough, when I knew I would rather die than spend one more day in this abusive marriage, then fear no longer scared me. In fact, in the last seven years, I had so much change it has made my head spin and the one thing I've learned is we all need to change, in order for us to grow

We need to do the things we are the most afraid of in order to challenge ourselves to grow. There are lessons in everything, even in the storms, even in our most painful moments, there are lessons if you are willing to look for them.
You need to look for the lessons, you need to realize what you need to learn and that's a hard one because you have to be brutally honest with yourself about your flaws. You have to admit what you did, own your own shit and then be willing to change in order for growth to take place.

Writing this blog helped me as I promised myself that I would be completely honest with my life, with my screwups, with my bad choices in men, in my kid's messes, in all of it so that others may learn lessons with me. I am not perfect and I say this all the time but as humans we want the world to see this "perfect" social media life we put out there. The perfect life, perfect kids, perfect marriage, perfect job, all a bunch of horseshit to impress a bunch of people who are also lying about their lives.

I was done lying, we were a dysfunctional mess, I was being abused every day, my kids were in therapy because their dad was a narcissistic asshole...please, it was one big show to impress people. When I finally left, I knew that I was going to be open to learning the lessons I was so afraid of, for so many years.

And so in these last 7 years, I have grown more than I did in most of my previous life because I was willing to be real. I was willing to step outside of my box, I was willing to be transparent, to own my own shit, to apologize for my wrong doings, to be truly open to learn the lessons.
And change came, I changed my thoughts about myself first, I stepped out of fear and I won! I did the work, I was honest, I was willing to try things, change things in order to grow.
It didn't matter if I made a mistake or if I fell on my face again, at least I tried.

I have become a better mother, a better friend, a better lover, a better human being because of change. Was it easy? Oh hell no! It was hard as hell but then so was living in fear and I wasn't even getting anything out of that. At least with this, I was learning and changing for the better.

So today my friends remember do not fear change, it's incredible what will happen if you step out of your fear. You will be amazed at your strength, of what you can do without fear keeping you down. So do not fear change for without change growth cannot be achieved.

Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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