What to look for in a person when dating

What to look for in a person when dating

I can remember when I was young, I thought I knew what I wanted when I liked someone.
Back as a teenager, it was someone who was cute and if they could take me out for pizza...bonus!

In my twenties I went for cute and who could take me to the best parties and the newest clubs.
I grew up poor and I wanted that lifestyle I dreamed of. The big houses, the fancy cars, the exotic vacations, yes, I wanted that.

That is how I basically picked my ex-husband. He was young but drove a fancy car and he already owned his own restaurant. He was ambitious and hardworking and I knew he could provide a "lifestyle" for me and a family I desperately wanted.

Growing older has taught me many lessons, it taught me that money doesn't bring happiness. It taught me that sometimes what you see is not what you get and if you're not looking for the right thing, you will get slapped with reality, eventually.

Sometimes we think we know what we want, like me. I thought having money, having that big lifestyle would solve all my problems.

What I learned after 24 years in this "perfect" marriage is all that glitters isn't gold. We were a dysfunctional mess, he was controlling, narcissistic, jealous and egotistical.
The money didn't help it just gave him ammunition to hold it over my head every time he was verbally abusive to me.

I learned that what truly counts in a man is kindness, not money. It's compassion for you and others, not the big home. It's that he puts you first, not his job and his money.
I no longer care about all the possessions I once owned, I care about a persons heart and soul.

One thing I have learned in this past year from the Prince is that it doesn't matter about age, it doesn't matter if someone is your "type" or not. It matters how they treat you, how they make you feel. It's about the self-worth they make you feel, the unconditional love they give to you even when you're not at your best.

It's about the pure joy you experience with that person and how they make you feel.
I may never have all that I had before and that's okay because I know who I am now. I know what's truly important.

So today my friends remember that while you're out there dating. Be careful of what you think you want because sometimes that blinds us of the things that are in front of your face.

You need to know who you are and what you bring to the table. You have to know when to walk away when they are not bringing anything to the table or when it is wrapped up in a pretty bow, only to see that there is nothing worthwhile inside that box.

Life is too short to be unhappy, to need things to fill you up, you need to have all of that inside of you. You have to be already whole and know what you want and are looking for when dating.

"Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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