My girls, my world

My girls, my world

This week I wrote about my girls taking me to church with them on Sunday and afterward they were going to the beach and invited me to go there too.
We spent all day Sunday together, going out to dinner and ending the night hanging out laughing and planning our next vacation together.

I am blessed to have such amazing daughters and I  never take our relationship for granted as it took a long road to get here.
They were a handful growing up and the divorce took a toll on all of us, pulling us apart and hurting us in the process. So when I say it took a while, it took a while to get to this incredible place, I mean it was a long and hard road to get here.

Recently while I was talking to this guy I met on a dating site he kind of said something that threw me for a loop.
He said "Don't you know what an empty nester is? It's when you raised your kids and they move out and then you can start your life with your husband or significant other"

He went on to say "Your kids hang out at your house?? What like do you all jump into your bed and watch movies together too???"

I was taken back and said, "Well actually we do, why do you think that's so odd?"

He went on to say they should have their own lives ect... ect... at that point, I had already stopped listening and then I went in on him.
I told him I actually enjoy my girls and if they weren't my kids I would still want to hang out with them because they are amazing human beings.

I realized that any man that is going to be part of my life better be a family man and better love, my girls, like I do. He better realize that I am a family person and I love to have my family and friends around me. That this is who I am, take it or leave it because I will never abandon my ties to the people I love, like I did in the past while I was with my ex-husband.

Now I am not saying we will be spending 24/7 with them but they are and will forever be welcomed in my home, to jump on my bed and watch movies, to hang out and have dinner or to just hang, with limitations of course.

But they are and will forever be part of me. I was lucky enough to have that type of relationship with my mother but I wanted that and more with my girls. I let them tell me everything in their lives, no matter what it is with no judgment.

It doesn't matter if it's about drugs, friends or even sex they can and do tell me it all. They are my best friends and I always want this relationship with them.

See the problem with parents today is that they want to be "friends" with their kids and you can't, not in the beginning anyway. You need to be the parent, you need to lay down the rules, you need to be consistent with punishments and every once in a while you need to give them a good ass whooping! Yes, I said it...a good ass whooping never hurt anyone.

I did all of that and more. I was the mean mom, never letting them get away with any bullshit. And now that I raised them to be caring, self-sufficient, respectful, amazing young women, now I can be their friend.

But you must pour the foundation first before you get to build that house. You must be that parent who is really a parent or like I say all the time you get out of it what you put into it.

For me it was everything I had,  being room mom, PTA mom, milk and cookies after school mom. I drove a crappy mini van for 10 years to take that money I would have spent on a car payment and put it towards their college fund. I never missed a parent teacher conference or school event. I sat with them through practices and their recitals. I put in the work because they are my world and I have to tell you, don't think that you can waltz in here and expect me to choose because that door will hit you in your ass real fast!

So today my friends remember your children will always be first, don't let some man dictate your relationship with them. Because you might go through a few of them but you will always have your kids unless you put them last it too much and they walk away from you forever.
As I always say choose wisely....
My choice will always be my girls.

"Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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