I can't leave because....

I can't leave because.... 

I can't leave….

Women use this statement all the time. I can't leave because....you fill in the blanks. 

I can't leave because I love him...

I can't leave because I don't have a job...

I can't leave because I have nowhere to go...

I can't leave because of the kids... Hell, I was even a woman that used these lines.

My excuses were, he loves me... he's just doing this or saying this because he loves me. 

Then it was well...we have kids, I was raised in a divorce home, I don't want them to be raised that way. 

When he had cut my self esteem to nothing, it was well...he will take my kids away from me, he has the money and power and I will not have my girls. As I started to get back a little self esteem, it was well...he has been saying for twenty four years, that I am worthless, that I can't make it without him, so how am I going to do this? I didn't think I could and then this fear kept me there.

Yes, there are many excuses that keep us in unhealthy relationships and with what is going on right now more and more women are now stuck in these horrible relationships, stuck in the house with their abusers. These relationships are toxic, they are no good any more, they are going nowhere fast yet we hold on and we make up excuses on why we can't leave.

I have a friend who is smart, she went back to school at 40 to become a nurse. She is beautiful, kind and has a hot body but when she finally left an abusive marriage of 35 years, she hooked up with a guy who has been ten times worse than her ex husband.

He says things like "Why can't you look like that? You're getting old looking, why don't you dress like that" He is younger than her and he knows what to say to push her buttons and spark her insecurities.

Because of this she has become insecure, jealous and she cries every day. It breaks my heart to see  what he is doing to her and how she is allowing it to affect her.

So you're probably asking why doesn't she leave? Well, her excuse is I love him, no one else is going to want me, and I am older now.

Are you kidding me? She doesn't see what I see, all of these wonderful qualities that she has.

She is worth so much more than what she is getting, but as many times as I try to tell her, that she is worth it and she can't see it and is still there. 

Yes, you can make a million excuses for staying, for taking him back over and over and for putting up with his lying and cheating ways. You're putting up with his disrespect and disregard for your feelings, but until you wake up and realize you are worth more, until enough is finally enough, you will continue in this vicious cycle. 

It is not until you learn to love yourself, until you know your self worth and know that maybe you won't be eating filet mignon but now you will be eating peanut butter sandwiches and you're okay with that, then you will leave. 

But let me tell you, peanut butter tastes so good with freedom!

Yes, there will be a lot of changes and yes, it will be hard. The one thing I've never done while writing this blog is lie to you, I will always tell it like it is. Yes, it will be hard, there will be days that you don't think you will make it, you will cry yourself to sleep on more than one occasion. Yes, I am here to try to tell you all of it, the good, the bad and even the ugly, but if reading this is helping you, it is all worth it to me to be transparent.

Trust and believe there is nothing like the feeling of knowing who you are and knowing your self worth. To know that you can do this on your own and feeling like you are truly a strong woman. If you need, find some friends who will encourage you, maybe you need to find a support group, find a therapist, go talk to your pastor, anything that will help you through this and start the process of moving on. 

So today my friends remember, you are in control of your life and let me tell you life is way too short to keep staying in a horrible relationship. You can be happy, you be free, be the best you, you can be!

Stop making excuses, face your fears, you can do this, you got this! This will be the best decision you will ever make, I promise you!

"Be the change you want to see"

 

"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

**Now released my latest book**

The Blessing in Disguise.... revealed

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My 1st book The blessing in Disguise 

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