The 10 things you want from a man
The 10 things you want in a man
Since this week was Father's day and since I've been on a roll with blogs about men I'd figure I would do one more.
Recently while speaking to "my blast from my past" an ex boyfriend, we were talking about one of my blogs I wrote called
"I refuse to settle" He said instead of putting out there a list of what I wanted, why didn't I put a list together of the ten things I didn't want in a man.Ten things that would be absolute deal breakers when looking for someone.
He went on to say, maybe all the things I had on my want list, well maybe I was too stuck on certain things and what if I met a man that had most and not all, would I disregard him because of it?
But If I made a list of the things that were absolute deal breakers and found a man that didn't have any of that list, shouldn't I take a deeper look at that man? I've never really thought of it from that perspective before.
I always tell you, you're never too old to learn something or to see things in a different light as long as you're open minded so I decided to write that list and change my thinking about the things I look for in a man.
So here is my list of my ten absolute deal breakers:
1-Must love my girls.
He has to make them part of his life as they are part of my life, this is a package deal, period.
2-He can not lie, period!,
Not a small white lie, not I am doing this for your benefit lie, No lying period!
3-He can't cheat.
I am committed, so you better be as well, if you still had oats to sow you should have done that before we got together. I am one and done, if you cheat there will never be a I'm sorry baby, we were over, done, finished, through, understand?
4-He cant be cruel or heartless. It says a lot about a person, how he treats others. He must be kind and compassionate.
5- He cannot disrespect me, Ever! Ever!
I have come a long way and I refuse to be disrespected ever again. He will never curse, belittle or call me names. I would never do that to him and expect the same in return. This is non negotiable.
6-He won't put me last on his list. Just like I will put him on top of mine, I should be on top of his, behind God.
7-He cant have his life in a mess.
No drama, baby mama drama, unrest, nothing that will destroy my peace. I don't come with that and I sure as hell don't want any.
8-He can't be unreliable or flaky. Look, be a man of your word, if you say it, do it! Be dependable, have my back and I will have yours.
9-He can't be a broke brother. Sorry I am not asking for a rich man, but at this age you should have your life together. No bill collectors knocking at your door, or you pawning our rings to pay your gambling debts. Have your shit together.
10-He can't be controlling, manipulative, egotistical, narcissistic, or so into himself that he thinks the world revolves around him. Please, I've had way to many men like this so keep it moving.
So these are my absolute deal breakers, feel free to copy and paste them to your dating sites. For me there is no going back, there are no second chances (especially for me and the cheating, I threw two men into the streets in the middle of the night and never looked back.)
No, that is it, period! I am not looking for things I don't have myself or things that I would never do to someone, so why is it so hard to ask the same of another?
So today my friends as I write my list, think about what is on your list and these ten things that are non negotiable for you in your next relationship and then stick to them. There are things on our want list that we can live without but the things on this list are not any of them.
"Be the change you want to see"
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"
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