Interracial love
Interracial love
If you know me, you know my story, and if you're my age you probably will understand what I am about to tell you about growing up in a white Italian American family.
My mother was raised in Harlem, New York. She lived there until she was 23, she was not racist, all of her friends and neighbors were black. The black and Italians lived peacefully together for years but there was always this unspoken rule. You didn't date out of your race, which you may think was racist but her family were equally racist to everyone else as well. They wouldn't tolerate you even dating out of your nationality. My aunt dated and married an Irish man and they disowned her! Just because he wasn't italian, imagine that?
My mom did what she was told and dated only Italian men, and when she fell in love with an Italian boy and he proposed, she was overjoyed. But when his family found out that she was half Puerto Rican they made him break off the engagement, breaking her heart.
These unspoken rules went on for decades. I never dated a black boy out of respect for my mother and I too dated mostly Italian guys. Now we had many black friends, they were always at our home, sitting around our dinner table. My God father who I called my Big daddy was black and was always at our home. But again this was an unspoken rule that was ingrained deep into my mother.
I remember when my oldest daughter brought home a Dominican boy who was black, my ex-husband lost it.
He screamed at her and then screamed at me because I didn't have an issue with it.
How could I? It was her first boyfriend, he was in gifted classes with her, he was captain of the basketball team, and had wonderful parents who I knew, so what the hell was wrong with him?
Hello! He screamed in my face "He's black!"
Really? Love is love and you can't help who you fall in love with, I said to no avail as he was not having any of it. In his mind he was not a racist, he had black friends, just don't date my daughter's….Hello, racist.
After my mom died and I got divorced I decided that this was my mother's issue and not mine. I was going to expand my horizons and date everyone, no matter what race they were. I was going to practice what I preached. It just happened that the first man I dated was a black attorney who looked like Will Smith and was younger than me. He was smart, funny, and he made me feel special. He was kind and patient as he knew how fragile I was. I didn't see anything but this wonderful man treating me like a queen. We dated for 9 months but he wanted to get serious and I didn't as I was still healing from my verbally abusive marriage. We parted as friends and I still consider him a great friend who happens now to also be my attorney (nice perks)
After him I dated all kinds of men, White, Spanish, Black, Asian, it didn't matter, it was about who ever my soul felt drawn too.
See for me that is what it is all about, the soul connection, the way they treat you, the way they make you laugh, this is what is really important to me.
After dating a string of narrostic, controlling, passive aggressive men, I met the Prince and no, I didn't see color and I didn't see age. I just saw a man who would hunt down shoes for me for my photo shoot. I saw a man who remembered my favorite ice cream and would bring it to me when I was feeling down. I saw a man who treated me like no other man up until then. He made me realize my self worth, he constantly told me what fools these other men were for letting me go.
He made me laugh, and it was as if we had known each other for many lifetimes, things were just easy between us. This is what I fell in love with and it didn't matter what "package" it came in, this was someone who truly loved and cared about me and showed me every day.
He could have been white. He could have been old, he could have been tall or short. He could have been Blue like my girlfriend Denise always says, it didn't matter, what mattered was the way he treated me and the way he made me feel.
See this is why it is so hard for me, I see people as human beings, I see their heart, their compassion towards others. I see everyone the same and yes, I know there are good and bad with all. With men, with women, with blacks, with whites, with cops, with the rioters, I know there is good and bad in everyone.
What I won't do is group all of them in one lump sum. I won't have hatred towards anyone because of someone's race, their religion or their sexual preferences, I'm sorry that is just not me.
So today my friends, I hope this teaches you something about being open minded even if you grew up a different way. You don't have to continue the same horrible ways your parents learned from their parents, you can be that one person, that says it stops with me. I will stand up and be the change. I say it all the time, at the end of every blog, it's up to you, you can make a difference, you can be the change….
"Be the change you want to see"
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"
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