Missing my mom
Missing my mom...
Today is my mom's birthday, she was my best friend and she was taken home way too early.
She was young and vibrant and full of energy and not a day goes by that I don't miss her smile.
There have been a lot of people that I loved that have been called home but when you lose your mother, well that's a whole different story.
Growing up I used to call her the meanest mother in the world because she was so strict. We had dinner together every night at 6 pm and unless you got hit by a bus, you had better be there. This was our family time as she worked the night shift at a diner and my step dad worked days. So this was the only time we all got to see each other and spend quality time together.
She worked 6 nights a week and on her one day off she helped my dad work on our beat up old farm house. She owned one pretty dress that she wore to every occasion for years because we were so poor and anything extra went to me or the house.
I went for skating lessons, gymnastics and dance classes. I had the newest shoes or jeans, even though we were poor she made sure that I never went without. To her it didn't matter that she only owned that one dress, she always put me first. Even going as far as being best friends with my father who she had divorced years before because he had cheated on her and yet I never once heard her say a bad thing about him, ever.
We spent every Tuesday night together as that was her only night off. We would window shop, go see a movie and then go have hot chocolate and toasted pound cake with vanilla ice cream at the local Howard Johnson's restaurant.
Once a month we would go "away" We couldn't afford a real vacation so she would take me away overnight.
There was a hotel about 40 minutes away that had an indoor pool. We would spend the night there, go out to dinner and I would get to swim to my heart's content.It wasn't the quantity of time we spent together, it was the quality of time.
She always had an open door policy at our house and at our dinner table. She had a United nations circle of friends that she loved and they loved her. I never heard anyone say a bad word about her as she was loved and respected by all.
She was an inspiration as I watched her battle breast cancer, my dad's death, my rape and abortion, all within a span of 4 months. She was there for all of us in spite of what she was going through. She went back to school after that at 45, getting her GED and then off to college for a business degree and a change of career at 50 to become a real estate broker who opened her own business.
As I got older she helped me with my girls, she was an even better grandma than mother, if that was even possible. She became my little one's best friend as well. She was always encouraging and kind, she had the biggest giving heart and was well loved by all.
When I lost her I realized that life is too short to be unhappy, her death gave me my life as it is today.
I found her voice in my ears telling me I could do it, that I was strong and independent, that nothing was impossible as she always told me .
One day I pray I will leave the same kind of impression on my girls. That they would look back with love and respect to a mom who was their best friend.
Until that day I will keep trying to live up to her legacy. Trying to be the amazing woman, wife and mother she was. Trying to have her heart, her friendships and her open mindedness to people and the world around her. To have her work ethic, her love for her family and the willingness to survive hard times.
There is not a day that goes by that I don't miss you mom... Happy birthday.
You will forever be missed…
I love you.
"Be the change you want to see"
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"
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